University of Florida Named 10th-Douchiest College in America

Categories: Survey Says
Tim Tebow Crying.jpg
"We coulda WON, gosh-darnit!"
Those snooty, Wayfarer-wearing jazz fans over at GQ have been crunching the numbers and actually came out with something quite meaningful: Out of the 2,364 four-year, degree-granting institutions in the U.S., the University of Florida is douchier than all but nine.

It was the number-one douchiest in the "Sunburned Tits Conference," according to the ranking, which also listed a typical Gator Growl itinerary that included having to be "carried back to some stranger's dorm room, where you wake up to cheers from the goateed strangers who brought you home and cracked eggs in your hair and drew cocks and balls on your forehead with dry-erase markers."

While the accolade for the school of The Tebow and the "don't tase me bro" kid is not particularly unexpected, it's disappointing the Gators couldn't pull ahead of MIT, "home of the 'motherboard' douche." Maybe next year, boys. Go get 'em.

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8 comments
Esteban
Esteban

UF students are horrible.

Gerrymsr
Gerrymsr

Too bad Miami and FSU aren't relevant enough on any level, academically or athletically, to even be considered for the list. They would, however, make the top 10 in pathetic.

PastyStoole
PastyStoole

​"Those snooty, Wayfarer-wearing jazz fans over at GQhave been crunching the numbers and actually come out with something quite meaningful"Step One:  Learn how to construct a sentence.  Step Two:  Once you've mastered step one, feel free to call anyone you wish a "douche" in print.   

Jameslang
Jameslang

Florida definitely deserves the #1 At least the people at MIT have the right to be a doucheThe kids at the "swamp" pretend they are in an ivy league school.

Hi!
Hi!

That's why UM is ranked higher than UF in USNWR, right?

Tootie
Tootie

Ya needs to lay off the Ex-Lax dudette, correcting grammar is so not cool and only makes you look like a tool.

Rich Abdill
Rich Abdill

Ah, a misplaced vowel. You caught me. 10,000 vowels a week and one of them gone wrong makes me a moron. I'm not sure if you noticed with your Gator-level reading comprehension, but I didn't call UF anything at all -- GQ did; I'm just the humble messenger. But thank you for the lesson on subject-verb agreement.

Douche.

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