A Boy Named Barbara, Flattop Moustache, And What You See When You Die

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series. ​Arrested: 8/16 Charged with: Grand theft third degree, out-of-county warrant We usually try to keep Mugshots Friday anonymous. But we need you to know that we're not joking when we say this fella's first name is Barbara. Is it any wonder that he ended up like this? Look at the anguish in his eyes. Thanks a lot, Dad. ​Arrested: 8/16 Charged with: Cocaine possession, marijuana possession with intent to distribute This guy doesn't understand the big fuss over Michelle Bachmann's Newsweek cover. ​Arrested: 8/12 Charged with: Cocaine possession On a lesser, smaller-headed man, that mustache could be a flattop.