Fat Guy From Teen Mom Blows $5,000 at Miami Strip Club Because the World Is Sad and Horrible
So, Gary Shirley is responsible for providing the sperm that turned high school dropout Amber Portwood into a titular Teen Mom. Of course, MTV is responsible for turning them both into something oddly passing as celebrities in 2011, and apparently she beat him once. Now she's in rehab. It's all very worrisome and disheartening.
TMZ reports Shirley recently spent several hours at a Miami strip club (no word on which one). The site terms the outing "11 hours of boob-filled butt-flossy awesomeness." We call it an American nightmare. He spent $5,000 during those 11 hours after starting out in the VIP room and then heading to the champagne room.
TMZ has pictures, and they are all sad. He was wearing an Ed Hardy T-shirt. One of the strippers had a pink tramp stamp and matching leg warmers. Dear Lord.
All we know is please call someone close to you tonight and tell them you love them. Please.
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