Moron Of The Week: Cocaine + AK-47 - Driver's License = "Young Hope" in Esperanto

Thumbnail image for Joven_Esperance.jpg
Jovens Esperance, which we are pretty sure means "Young Hope" in Esperanto. Does that still exist?
Jovens Esperance. The name sounds so innocent, like something Salma Hayek might whisper into your ear on a lazy Sunday morning. Or like the name of a Catalan charity devoted to taking thugs from the streets of Barcelona and turning them into five-star restaurateurs.

Chef! This soufle is delicious. My compliments!

Don't thank me. Thank Jovens Esperance!

Sadly, no. Jovens Esperance is neither Mexican pillow talk nor Spanish haute cuisine, but the name of our Moron Of The Week.

According to a police report, the bizarre scene occurred yesterday at 7:30 in the morning in Overtown. Miami Police Det. Arana was helping put out a car fire on NW 3rd Avenue and 11th Street when he saw a Silver Pontiac Bonneville drive the wrong direction down the one-way road towards him.

Perhaps it was the early morning hour, but the car's driver, Jovens Esperance Esperance (not a typo), promptly parked the car just a few doors down from the cop (Mistake #1)

He and his buddy, 18-year-old Christopher Jaime Sealy, then stepped out of the Bonneville and walked towards Arana (Mistake #2).

When Arana asked Esperance for his driver's license, the 19-year-old quickly said admitted that he didn't have one (Mistake #3).

Gun on the floor.jpg
Dumb.
Even then, Esperance might have gotten off with just a hefty ticket. But when Arana searched the gold-toothed youth, he allegedly found a clear baggie full of cocaine inside a Newport cigarette box (Mistake #4). Where was this coke hidden, you ask? Why, in Esperance's front shirt pocket (Mistake #5).

But the truly unbelievable part of this quaint Friday MOTW is what Arana then discovered in the silver Bonneville. Without even opening the doors, Det. Arana spotted a handgun with a pretty badass looking extended magazine sitting on the floor board of the driver's seat (Mistake #6).

Shit, what bad luck for Esperance, you say?

No, my friend. This giant handgun hadn't been quickly stashed there. It hadn't fallen out of some too-baggy jeans. This was apparently where boy genius always kept his Glock. In fact, there was another handgun on the passenger side, so that Sealy didn't feel left out (Mistake #7).

And the coup de grace? Sitting on the back seat, where most people keep dirty laundry or a baby seat, was an AK-47 assault rifle (Mistake #8).

At this point, the two young men were proper f*cked, but just to make sure, Sealy volunteered that yes, they had kept guns in their car (Mistake #9). Police quickly determined that the two handguns were stolen (Mistake #10).

AK-47 on back seat.jpg
Dumber.
For mistakes #1-10, Jovens Esperance earns our first Moron Of The Week competition in quite some time. He has been charged with three counts of carrying a concealed firearm, two counts of grand theft and one count of possession of cocaine. Sealy, meanwhile, has been slapped with three counts of carrying a concealed firearm and two counts of grand theft.

It seems a little harsh to charge these guys with "concealed" firearms when they practically had them strapped to the hood of their car.

Either way, Esperance's arrest doesn't bode well for Miami. According to our office philologist, Jovens Esperance mean "Young Hope" in Esperanto.

If this guy is the future, we are sooo screwed.

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39 comments
jamesvally
jamesvally

What another piece of loser trash. With what appears to be gross looking turd sticks for hair. An obviously horrible dental care, rotten nasty teeth encased in gold, rotten attitude, rotten to the core. Probably has the IQ lower than a primate too, with that half mentally handicap look.

tstak
tstak

WTF is up with that first part of this article? I'm sorry, but pretend-artsy writing does not go well with crime stories and the author's attempt at being all poetic ends up really terrible.

However, I think that Jovens Esperance sounds more like a perfume, but then so do "incest" and "dysentery" until you find out what they mean.

Sexy woman voice: "My daddy loved my mommy... But he loved me even more... Incest, by Calvin Klein."

monkeyshines
monkeyshines

another snakehead monkey living up to its inner chimp DNA

John
John

No, your Moron of the week is the Police who fell for the oldest trick in the book. Give a distraction for the greater lick. The car police was "helping" was the greater lick.

Gsmith1380
Gsmith1380

Well nobody can accuse the boys of being a mental giants. Got to be the dullest pencils in the pack.  

DB
DB

Esperance Esperance?  I heard you the first time.

Davidcharlez
Davidcharlez

I wish I had dem guns to shoot all u cock suckers I support dem fuck all u crackers

Russ D
Russ D

Criminals with guns are dangerous. Citizens with guns just might save your life one day.

Cocoadiva_94
Cocoadiva_94

First of all yall dont even kno him so yall cant judge him so yall can take yall stupid ass comments and keep it too yall self!!!

DucatiCop
DucatiCop

where is that DUMBASS Miami commissioner now, why isnt he speaking out about what a good job this cop did???  This cop potentially saved the life of those two morons along the life of a cop and innocent bystanders from a future shoot out in the streets of Miami 

Steve Sanders
Steve Sanders

Black Guys in miami are dangerous it's a fact. 

Younghope
Younghope

Michael Miller and that fake story the shit don't add up

R. Craig
R. Craig

Say, has anyone commented yet to say that "young hope" in Esperanto is "juna espero?"  Well, I see my work here is done.

Fish
Fish

Det Arana doing what he does best

Miami_papi2004
Miami_papi2004

These are the god damn COCK A ROACHES we have in our streets in Miami !!! Blow them away City of Miami I won't ask any questions I will just thank you for exterminating the roaches.

T dot
T dot

lol damn this is nuts , that kid is younger than me riding around strapped like that? that's only a few blocks away from my house too... OT is pretty chill if u mind ur business noone really bothers you.. lol this is why i never get too comfortable in my own block

mankso
mankso

You ask if Esperanto still exists? It sure does! Is it monolingual myopia that prevents you from Googling this non-ethnic inter-language, intended for use as a common second language alongside each person's own ethnic language, not to replace ethnic languages (as many wrongly suppose)?:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E...

Maddy
Maddy

people should watch first 48 or msnbc they have great episodes on my city. luv it Just another day in my city...I luv miami <3

Bkolker
Bkolker

> According to our office philologist, Jovens Esperance mean "Young Hope" in Esperanto.Not true. "Young Hope" in Esperanto is: "Juna Espero". Believe me. :-)Boris Kolker - member of Esperanto Academy

bigriggs
bigriggs

I can hear his mom right now saying..."but he's just such a good boy".

Bubba The Wise
Bubba The Wise

OK, folks. Let's have a contest to see how soon this "child who is turning his life around" is back on the street. I start with 2 weeks and say this piece of crap is back in the hood.

afalfa
afalfa

I think that buckwheat is his real name. He even has the little rascals smile.

Russ
Russ

Your office philologist is mistaken; "Jovens Esperance" is not Esperanto. ("Juna Espero" would be "Young Hope" in Esperanto.)

Juan del Pueblo
Juan del Pueblo

Hurray for Miami !!! Did anyone notice the for sale sign in the back seat floor? What happens If you are in the market for a silver Pontiac bonneville and you ansewer to a a craigslist posting? when you ask to see and buy this car do u get pumped with lead?

Narcomancer
Narcomancer

Yep. Paper targets that don't move and clay pigeons that completely simulate the criminal's flying abilities make me feel safe about the accuracy of Joe Blow's pocket cannon. Hit it right on the head there, man. Wait...

jamesvally
jamesvally

@Cocoadiva_94 is just another uneducated foul mouthed piece of gutter trash. We can't judge him are you stupid he had stolen guns and drugs in his car, he's a really good person alright.... More like just a piece of thug trash that deserves to be caged.

yo mama
yo mama

I'm guessing he's your baby daddy cocoadiva, why else would you be so upset? I might not judge him but I will judge you for your lousy use of "ya'll". moron.

Freez305
Freez305

anyone with a gun is dangerous not only black guys

squid
squid

FUCK U @Steve sanders ur a duck stop trying my cuzin u fucking red neck

Franluc28
Franluc28

They arent dangerous any more than you fucking white spits

Leke
Leke

 Yeah, that's what my translation would be. It sounds a little Portuguese, but I'm not saying it actually is, just how it looks. :D

Michael Miller
Michael Miller

We were wondering about that ourselves, but despite the charges against this fellow, we think he'd be pretty cool. I bet he just uses these guns for Tony Montana impersonations at parties. Just look at that face. His Mom must have named him Jovens Esperance for a reason, right?

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