Mugshots Friday: A Meta T-Shirt, A Pimp's Broken Spirit, and Beards, Beards, Beards

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

​Arrested: 8/8
Charged with: Third-degree grand theft
Hey, Domo made it back to the internet! It's like one of those feel-good news stories about a cat that gets blown 400 miles away by a tornado but staggers home three months later.

​Arrested: 8/8
Charged with: Trespassing after warning, attempt to influence a public servant through use of a threat
Hey, justice system, you guys broke our old pimp's spirit! Jerks!

​Arrested: 8/8
Charged with: Disorderly intoxication, indecent exposure
Dear Just For Men (Beard Division),
Ever since I've started using your product, the strangest thing has been happening. My clothes keep exploding off of me. It's resulted in me getting arrested for indecent exposure! Please advise.
-Invigorated But Incarcerated

IBI,
That means the product is working! That's just the raw sexual magnetism exploding all of your clothes off! Enclosed find a $5-off coupon redeemable at participating Walgreens.