Fat Grandma Tattoos, The Prong Beard, and The Perfect Mugshot Form

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 9/8
Charged with: Grand theft third degree, burglary of an unoccupied structure, resisting an officer without violence to his person
Are we missing something here? Are tattoos of big fat happy grandmas trying to give us a hug the new gangsta thing?

Arrested: 9/10
Charged with: Escape, disorderly conduct, resisting an officer without violence to his person
That is some straight-up 1990s sass right there. The pursed lips, the bleached hair with the, y'know, things in it, the necklace full of charms. We didn't think they made hellions like that anymore.