Marlins Officially Eliminated From Playoffs

Categories: Sports
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The cruel joke played on South Florida every year by Major League Baseball has officially reached its season-ending punch line. Despite sitting near the top of the National League earlier this season, the Marlins have now been officially eliminated from playoff contention. A 5-7 loss to the Mets last night sealed the deal.

So who's ready for opening day at that shiny new stadium next year?

This season creepily and pathetically mirrored last year's. The team got off to a strong start, but by the time summer rolled around, the wheels fell off. The team hastily fired its manager, and the Fish only further found themselves being entwined in a net of failure.

Now the only thing 80-year-old skipper Jack McKeon can do is spend the last month trying to keep his team from finishing last in the division.

Though, perhaps the front office better start thinking about next season. They'll be moving into their highly unpopular, taxpayer-funded stadium. Their best PR move right now is making huge changes during the off-season and putting together a team that won't inevitably fall apart. Is Pat Riley available for a consult gig? He seems to be the only person in South Florida who's good at that kind of thing.

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8 comments
Disgraced Mayors
Disgraced Mayors

Taxpayers pay 99+% of all the costs for the Marlins Stadium and the Marlins get 100% of all ticket sales and 100% of all naming rights.

Thank idiots disgraced and recalled (88%) mayor Carlos Alvarez and disgraced ex-Mayor Manny Diaz. Idiots.

As usual the Marlins have the worst attendance in MLB.

Screw the taxpayers
Screw the taxpayers

Bruno Barrerio made to Motion to approve the deal to divert over $3 BILLION to the Canadian owned Marlins. Spence-Jones was the swing vote to approve at the City of Miami. Both elected officials screwed the taxpayers.

Taxpayers got...
Taxpayers got...

The Marlins scammed stupid elected officials like Bruno Barrerio, Dennis Moss, Michelle Spence-Jones, Manny Diaz, Carlos Alcarez, Joe Martinez, Javier Souto, Joe Sanchez and Marc Sarnoff into getting the taxpayers to pay for their new 35,000 seat stadium. Their last home game had less than 500 paying ticket buyers.

The taxpayers got f**ked.

No customers
No customers

Only 347 paying customers at the Marlins last home game.

Jeffrey Loria and David Samson are greedy a**holes.

Michael Arnold
Michael Arnold

The Marlins are the worst franchise in MLB. They will have a brand new 3/4 empty stadium next season. The people of South Florida don't care about the Marlins because ownership doesn't care about the fans. The only thing Marlins' ownership cares about is it's league dispersal check that they pocket instead of using to build a better franchise. And they wonder why when the do manage to draw more than 10k to a game, 9k are wearing the opposing teams jersey.

Drake Mallard
Drake Mallard

Welcome to the American dream--a billionaire using public fundsto constructa private playgroundfor the rich and powerful.

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