Shaquille O'Neal's Scandalous Soap Opera, Now in Handy Graph Form

Categories: Sports
Shaquille O'Neal's recent legal troubles are a complicated saga. There are multiple mistresses and several lawsuits, an alleged police conspiracy, extortion claims, and Shaq's own typo-laden Twitter-style emails narrating it all.

We think we did a noble job of parsing through the Lord of the Rings-caliber, twisty plot to bring you this week's feature about the ongoing drama. But we still endorse the graphic reading aid cooked up by an enterprising Deadspin reader in which the story arc is represented as one of Shaq's signature free-throw bricks. 

Click to enlarge. 'Tis truly a beautiful thing.

Deadspin, by the way, seems to be suffering a Hamlet-size case of the waffles when it comes to their opinion of our Shaq coverage. They've professed to being overwhelmed by confusion, and called their own following of the story "somewhat regrettabl[e]," all while linking to almost everything we've written about the subject. Actually, it's a lot like how the whole world treated Deadspin's Brett Favre dick-in-a-phone odyssey.

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Shaquille O'Neal is no friend of Miami residents. He blinded thousands of residents whom lived behind his star island mansion. With stadium intensity floodlights. The neighbors complained to code enforcement but Miami Beach employees refused to do anything to their friend Shaquille. One West Avenue resident took the matter into his own hands and shined a light back on shaquille who immediately called the police to complain. The Miami Beach police did nothing since they were all friends wight him. Shaquille is a looser and a womanizer. He is the worst of thuggery. Stay out of Miami Shaquille. You are not wanted here anymore. LOOSER!

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