Apparently in Myrtle Beach they do prostitution a bit differently. Instead of putting women on street corners, they have two-bit pimps stand in driveways like kids trying to hawk lemonade by waving down cars and randomly asking drivers if they're looking for some paid sex.
Unfortunately for 29-year-old Caid Kennedy Nobles, he flagged down an undercover officer and tried to play his would-be pimping off as a joke by explaining to the cop he just needed help rolling a joint.
The undercover officer was patrolling a residential area in Myrtle Beach around 2:48 a.m. Monday when he spotted Nobles trying to flag him down by jumping up and down and waving a flashlight at the end of a driveway, according to the Sun News.
The officer stopped, and Nobles asked him if he was looking for a girl, because he had a "clean room" inside with a "clean woman" and plenty of condoms. The officer asked how much, and Nobles replied it was only $50.
After realizing the man was a cop, Nobles said he was joking and that the only reason he flagged him down was because he was looking for a cigar to role a joint.
Here's a hint, kids: If you're trying to get out of arrest, it's best not to tell the officer that you were just joking and doing something else illegal.
Nobles, listen up. You should have said, "Oh, man, did you think I meant 'clean woman' like she's some sort of disease-free hooker? Whoa, that's funny. Total misunderstanding. I said 'cleaning woman.' I was asking if you needed a maid. And the clean room? It's just to show off her work. The condoms have nothing to do with it. I just like to collect rare and antique condoms, and my condom-display room just happens to be the room she cleaned. Gotta promote safe sex, you know. Seriously, though, $50 and she'll clean your entire house -- that is exactly what I meant."
Nobles was arrested and booked on charges of prostitution. The "maid" was not charged.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.