Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell

By Kyle Munzenrieder Mon., Oct. 10 2011 at 11:01 AM

Tacos are not recognized as legal forms of identification in the state of Florida [insert bad joke about immigration laws here]. Matthew Falkner found out the hard way after he passed out drunk in the drive-thru of a Jensen Beach Taco Bell and his car caught fire [insert bad joke about Taco Bell's fire sauce or volcano taco here].

The incident occurred in the early morning of October 1 in Jensen Beach, according to the blog Off the Beat. Falkner, 30, had apparently decided to make a run for a fourth meal after downing some beers, and he somehow made it all the way to the fast-food joint in his Chevy pickup, placed his order, and received his taco before falling asleep.

The Taco Bell manager had to call police because Falkner was out cold at the pick-up window and holding up customers behind him. Clearly this was not a victimless crime, and our hearts go out to the hungry folks who had to wait so long for their late-night munchies.

A deputy awoke Falkner and then asked for his ID. Falkner said no before reaching into his bag and presenting the officer with a taco. Another deputy clarified they were asking for an ID, not a taco. Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco.

Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.

Falkner's blood alcohol content was between .227 and .225, according to a breath test. That's three times the legal limit. He was hauled off to jail on DUI charges. No word on the fate of the taco.

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Tags:

Jensen Beach, Matthew Falkner, Taco Bell

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mitchell39 topcommenter

I think you need many fewer [insert bad joke...] inserts. None would be ideal.

EricBacker

@mitchell39 Agreed. The author's final stupid remark "No word on the fate of the taco." After the article states the suspect started eating it. Untrue and unfunny.

Fernie B

winning

Rita Gervais

Up for an honorable mention of the Darwin Awards

Beyababa

At least he ate good before being hauled off.You know that jail food,if you don't your will someday GUARANTEED.

Soxon

Not real funny if you drive a mile or two up the road and check out the roadside memorials to the dead killed by drunken jerks like this guy. Driving drunk is like firing a gun into a crowd. Hang the jerk.

mal928

@Soxon You're right, laughing about this will un-kill all of those people.

Adriafirestone

No word on the fate of the taco???!!!! How could you ignore me that like that? Tacos have feelings too. My heart and my shell are broken and I lay crumpled underfoot on the burnt out Chevy floorboard for hours, days and now the ants are carrying me off - Oh, doesn't anyone care about ME?!!!!

Demongo

Maatttt Daaaamonnnn...

Aaron Buckley

this is the best news story i've ever read.

Derek Skinner

.227 BAC on beer? Not gonna lie, I'm fairly impressed at his stomach capacity. I get full before I get a buzz on just beer.

Public Defender

0.227% BAC on beer, assuming 170 pound male in late 20's = 10-12 beers within one hour.

~0.016 to 0.020 / beer depending on many factors (metabolism, weight, etc).~.015% drop off in BAC / hour.

Basic retrograde extrapolation.

Likely a case of rising blood alcohol ... drank within 0-30 minutes of leaving home, impact of alcohol can take 0:10 to 1:15 to reach peak (i.e., full absorption). Then pass out as reaching peak BAC.

Crissa

Hence, that's one heck of a stomach capacity.

Public Defender

Also, standard Intoxilyzer devices have a margin of error of .01% (assuming the calibration officer correctly and recently tested it). Given this device provides thousandths of a percentage, it is likely a Preliminary Alcohol Screening device (e.g., PAS test) it is not recorded nor reliable as a EPAS (evidentiary).

Lawrence Taylor has a fairly good primer (targeted at getting clients, but also educational material) here: http://www.duicentral.com/evid...

Garrett York

Much to his horror the next morning, he woke up remembering how he'd slathered salsa all over his driver's license and chowed down. Dyslexia can be a nightmare when you're drunk.

Chris Ar

If you're blue and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits ....

Vincemodrak

Putting on the Ritz!

Leonard Morales

"Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco."

Well Played..

Florida Driving Record

DUI is the worst habit that should be avoided by every driver. In Florida license will be suspended if cause DUI

Florida Driving Record

Guest

Ah, Floridians...

overtown

Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.

LOL!

Crissa

Figures it's a Chevy.