Occupy Wall Street: 8 Things Protesters Should Stop Doing To Be Taken More Seriously

Categories: Occupy Miami

fluteoccupywallstreet.jpg
We're on the fence about flutes.
Yesterday, we wandered around the Government Center in Downtown Miami-- site of the Occupy Miami tent-camp-- and found ourselves, well, a bit underwhelmed by the protest scene.

By now, Occupy Wall Street and Occuoy Miami protesters must know that their critics in the right-leaning-- or even mainstream-- media are gonna paint them with an extremely wide, tie-dyed brush. There's no need to play right into their stereotypes.

We're with you in philosophy, Occupiers. So please, take our constructive criticism. Lay off the following activities.

Lying down. Seriously, if you're gonna maintain comparisons to the civil rights movement, stop with the power naps. Think MLK suddenly curled into a comfy fetal position and got a little shut-eye while marching Birmingham? We saw at least three "protesters" lying flat against the pavement yesterday at three in the afternoon. C'mon, Garfield: Either do that in the seclusion of your tent or chug a damn 5-Hour Energy.

expensiveshit.jpg
Flickr: David Shankbone
Using expensive computer equipment. You do see how an $1,800 Apple laptop kind of undermines this thing, right? Maybe use a black marker to try to disguise it as a Dell. Or, again hit the Tent of Shame. How are you getting wi-fi in Government Center anyway?

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Ronnie Rivera
Hoisting ironic signage. Nothing wrong with being pithy. But with every Hannity wannabe clinging to the accusation that OWS doesn't know what its goals are, what do you think they're going to feature on their footage-- signs that are succinct, specific and sincere, or signs like the one we photographed above? Steve Colbert didn't organize this one. This is real.

In-fighting. No jostling to be the one who talks to reporters, or shit-talking the other. No signs protesting people smoking cigarettes in camp. (Yes, we really saw such a sign.) What is this, a meta-protest?

Forming drum circles. This is hugely important. You might want to post a bouncer-type to shake down protesters before they enter camp for any percussive instruments. There should be nary a freaking maraca to be seen. This isn't the 60s anymore, and these days the whole country associates drum circles with skipping freshman lit, playing an off-kilter rendition of "Is This Love" on the bongos on a campus lawn, and then hitting the dorm room for a baked four hour cat nap. And you already have our insight on cat naps.

twirling.jpg
so.kolovich's blog
Twirling. Also, dropping psychotropics and trying to describe God. Basically, any activity that would be at home during Burning Man should be verboten at OWS events.

Puppies. We love puppies, we do. But all the animals don't really help combat the notion of Occupy Miami as hobo encampment. And adorable puggles just don't scream The Iron Fist of The People (unless they themselves are carrying awesome signs). Also, this should go without saying, but: no kittens.

Generally milling around. You standing around chatting with your fellow protester all day about home-brewing techniques doesn't really strike fear the in The Man's heart. Just. Say. One. Thing. Like, scream a thing or two.

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23 comments
Gerry09
Gerry09

i have to agree with some of the stuff said here on both sides.. although i agree with the concept...the fact that there people there just to hang out and feel part of "something" even if they don't even know what that something is or why is simply dumb.  The other day on a college radio there was a kid calling for people to come hang out.  Hang out?? really? It really sucks when u have people who dont get the purpose of occupy Miami or what 99% even means..I dont even know if they now what a percent is.  They go from there and go on to their cars made in (anywhere else but USA) and buy their coffee from big corps, their music, their electronics..etc. with their Bank of America card...lmao. and then they go and complain about corruption.. u got a problem..make a statement with ur $$$.  No one can take u seriously if u are talking one thing with mouth and funding the 1% with the other.  Money is power and until we can figure out better ways to move our money so that WE can balance that 1%..i dont think we'll make a difference.  Wanna create jobs here...demand products and services from the USA.  ;)  

gary gromet
gary gromet

These protesters ought to go to the Capitol in Washington DC and walk the corridors. Our Congress regulate corporate pensions, commercial banks and investment banks/hedge funds so that the inherent greed of humans will  not be. The excessive greed brings the decresed standard of living to the average American and will eventually cost the wealthy their assets.Raise taxes on the rich! Let's face it: the 1% should pay proportionately more in taxes because they need a large functioning government to stay safe and secure, and to keep their wealth from being taken away by the other 99% in America as well as the poor of the rest of the world.Also, demand that Congress pass laws that start providing free universal health care to everyone in America. The Danish government does so. Denmark has one of the happiest populations of any nation despite having what is possibly the worst weather.

Michael Michalchik
Michael Michalchik

We are not hippies and we are not afraid of hippies. We are not an angry mob trying to scare people but many of us are angry. You don't have the foggiest clue what the civil rights activists did so don't pretend that we should act more like them. The cost of a laptop is not a luxury it is a trivial expense compared to the financial challenges we face and it is an essential tool of democracy now a days. We are not a show for you to orchestrate and no matter what we do the media will portray us as they please. If they think a freak show fits their needs fine. If they want us to be a looming threat, that is how they will make us seem. The have tried to labeled us as slackers, angry mob, neonazi commie socialists, spoiled rich kids, a flash in the pan, mass hysteria, a joke. We are none of those things and we won't perform to refute or fulfill those expectations. We will be true to ourselves and our goals of making this country and world a better place. Your media image management suggestions are for people who confuse image with substance and frankly you can shove them up your ass you conceited vapid dandy spokesmodel.

Next time spend a few says with us and learn what we are about before you shoot off your mouth.

tony966
tony966

Yea and how about refraining from the anti America behavior, the desecrating of the American flag, the carrying of communist flags, the attack on Jews, and the less than peaceful assembly!O and how about getting a job and helping the economy!  By the way, who's paying your bills while you are spending days and weeks in "protest"??????  Maybe you are just waiting for an obama entitlement!  Your protest is a joke and so are all of you!!  How many innocent businesses have you cost money by your "protest"  What a bunch of caring "Americans"  You can protest all you want, but socialism and communism will not win in this country...not with out a fight!!!!  And you Anti-America, anti-guns, anti-prosperity, anti-work, anti-Christ, anti-common sense people don't stand a chance in that fight!

nanook5
nanook5

got time to be a little more specific:lying down: we've been up all night for days watching our tents blow away in the wind, doing security shifts, and generally talking about how we're going to radically change our society. we'll get our sleep when we damn well please.expensive equipment: see below, but how about you use a picture actually from op miami and then we'll talk? that setup is not from here. ironic signage: another selective image amongst a sea of signs on different topics. dismissed.in-fighting: a bunch of strangers are not going to get along immediately. the smoking issue is a matter of respecting everyone that had to be dealt with. big deal.drum circles: the only thing i agree with on this list.twirling, psychotropics: irrelevant, but did you even see these things happen there?puppies: that's just stupid. milling around: should we just be marching around with guns all the time? i'm glad you're having fun with your usual cynicism but the basic role of these constant media dismissals is to continue to oppress people's belief that they actually can save their futures if they work together, and for that, you should be ashamed.

seep
seep

Why is it hypocrisy to have laptops/iphones?  Feels like a knee-jerk reaction.

Jake
Jake

I tried to cover the Occupy movement in another city, and I've seeen them do ALL of the above (they were actually very proud of their drum circle by the way).

Except not one person would talk to me, because they were told "the media is EVIL" (no arguments there). I did find their lone "Media Guy" who was milling around his with Apple laptop talking to his fellow protesters and not even remotely paying attention to me, and then once I finally got his attention he just blew me off because I'm "just some freelancer" (and thus not a real journalist).  

Last rule, don't alienate the media and then complain you aren't taken seriously by them. 

GordonGecko
GordonGecko

Everyone needs the same sign.  "Get Corporate Money out of Campaign Financing."  Simple.

Lukeisstupid
Lukeisstupid

You sound like a conservative struggling with your image.

nanook5
nanook5

ah, gus garcia-roberts, your wisdom and expertise in how to create a campaign to reform our society is as always much appreciated.oh, wait, you're THAT gus garcia-roberts, that one who has no ****ing idea what he's talking about and gets paid to sit on his *** in a cubicle and pretend to be "hipster cynical" about a story when he's really just being a total ***hole. stop by again if you actually have some JOURNALISM to do, otherwise just stay home.

nanook5
nanook5

trollolol. you know i actually wanted to desecrate an american flag last week but thought i'd get booed. if you show up next time i'll definitely do it, how's that sound?

tony966
tony966

Maybe if you just plain "worked" you could change your future!  Why you are lying down and twirling around and other important things, me and people like me are working and paying for the police that have to watch you out of control unruly nuts!!  Millions of dollars of tax payers money.  Many, many arrests, profanity, disrespectful behavior and so on.  How many Tea party people were arrested?  How many Tea party rallies had to be baby sat by police at the tax payers expense?  How much ugly behavior was recorded in their gatherings?  How many anti- Jew or any nationality signs were reported?   I don't agree with liberals at all!  But I support their right to protest and stand against what they don't agree with.  But why can't it be done in a right way?  How can you protest wrongs and financial abuse by doing the same?  

Sir Sausage
Sir Sausage

Because they're all about social equality and better wages, yet they're using electronics that are out of the price range of the people they supposedly stand for

Alex Wall
Alex Wall

uh... dude, I'll talk to you. I've also spoken to NBC, WLRN, and several magazine reporters. I know exactly who you are referring to (Apple laptop, his name is Daniel) and he was probably suspicious of a journalist who wouldn't say which publication he was with. Rightfully so.

Another thing: this protest is not for the media. I'd be pissed at Daniel if he spent all his time answering questions from the hundreds of journalists who have come and gone instead of tending to the needs of the movement.

For the record, I'm in journalism, too, but I don't cover occupy because, as I am a part of it and have been from the beginning, there's an obvious bias.

And Gus, this is a crappy article.

nanook5
nanook5

don't alienate the protestors and then complain you aren't taken seriously by them.

seep
seep

Nobody's gonna live in a park for several months for that.

Cmob_tmob4391
Cmob_tmob4391

He's right though. I was out there with the same questions and nobody could provide me with answers or what exactly they wanted to do. All I really saw was, I'm mad, so let's all meet up, beat on some buckets and play Jazz hands. The Occupy Miami movement won't last unless something drastically changes. There needs to be a direction and a clearly stated goal.

nanook5
nanook5

because we're actually challenging the status quo. you go ahead and look up to your heroes like jesus and george washington since they obviously only got what they wanted by waving gadsen flags and yelling at people to move to cuba for disagreeing with them.

nanook5
nanook5

we should all just use swords and boats to retake our country because we're not allowed to use our enemy's weapons against them. good grief.

seep
seep

But every broke-ass teenager still manages to buy an iphone somehow.  I know a girl on food stamps that has an iphone.  Not saying it's right.  Just saying.

tony966
tony966

What journalism school did you attend that you would begin with "uh...dude"?!?You know just because you carry a laptop and you are a freedom hating liberal that filters everything through his view and attacks any dissenting view; doesn't make you a journalist.  Although to be on NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, that is enough..."dude!"

nanook5
nanook5

dismissing her argument because she used the word dude. very persuasive brah.

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