LeBron-Hater Scott Raab's South Florida Mail: "I Hope Your Child Gets Cancer of the Eyes"

Categories: Sports
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And they say Miami Heat fans are apathetic. Pshaw! OK, so they might not go to games, even if it's pretty easy to get good tickets for $30 with a free pizza and Coke. But when some high-falutin' author calls them "cretins," they will email said author to wish that his child suffers a very specific, horrible death.

Last week, the world got its first glimpse of The Whore of Akron, the anti-LeBron tome penned by Esquire staffer, and native Clevelander, Scott Raab. Now Raab has shared with Riptide some of the choicest 305 hate mail he's gotten in return.

Pre-release excerpts of books tend to be the work's most sensational chunks, and this passage showed Raab as a jumbo-sized, cashew-devouring Moses of rage who wished a career-ending injury upon LeBron and took some nasty swipes at Miami Heat ownership (yes!) and fan base (no!).

Such as: "This is where LeBron James wants to play basketball, in front of sun-dried cretins who must be bribed to act as if they care about the game and the team."

Our neighbors returned the venom in spades.

"I got a lot of, 'Hey, die in a fire,'" Raab tells us. "I'm not saying I haven't earned it, and I'm not going to hide behind the cloak of artistic or poetic license. But I think that it's a little strange that people are taking this stuff that seriously."

He forwarded us a few choice pieces of hate mail received from South Floridians.

Here's an email, with the subject line "Death and Giggles", from Steven Blaha (sorry, but this guy earned his full name being used):
Are you the reason your parents got divorced? You wish death on lebron James? Then I wish death on you . I hope your child gets cancer of the eyes and it's slow and painful. If you ever come to SoFla... We are waiting for you
Now read it again in a Russian accent, it's even better.

Here's a stern lecture from a fellow named Dominic, who even included his phone number "in case you think I am an angry message board freak who hides behind the WWW." (We've left the punctuation and spelling intact.)
Your trying to make money off another mans name? Doesn't that make you a whore as well? Rip a guy for choking in the playoffs etc...but to make it personal with someone you don't know is appalling. I am a single father, I hope you aren't going to teach your son judge and hold a grudge son, talk as much about him because there wont be any retribution. Man your kid is going to get his ass beat quite a bit if that's the case. If you sell out for an Esquire headline your no better yourself. Hes a 26 year old dickhead with time to change...if he doesn't he will just become a 50 something year old dickhead just like yourself.
Dominic added, reasonably: "P.S. Your probably a good person, I just found your approach appalling."

Our favorite, with the subject line "How Do I Get to Meet Scott?":
Hello,

I'm a basketball cretin from Miami. I love going to Heat games so I can display my new Nike's and show up in the 2nd quarter. I was just wondering how I can meet Scott Raab. With his permission, I'd love to punch him in the face some time. K?

Sincerely,

Taylor
Scott's response: "Would you accept a personal apology and a copy of the book instead?"

Taylor emailed back:
I appreciate the offer, but will politely decline. I'm sure your book is very informative, but your generalization of Miami Heat fans is only skin deep. It's unfortunate for us true fans that we're represented by what people see on TV: an empty 100 level for an entire quarter only to be filled out (maybe) by morons who have money to blow and think they're going to a fashion show.
Whoa, almost-civil discourse. For the record, when we spoke with Raab, he didn't come across as an angry Esquire freak who hides behind his jumbo cashews. We'll be publishing more from our chat with him soon.

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18 comments
Rhett Thompson
Rhett Thompson

Totally using "hope yr child gets cancer of the eyes & it's slow/painful" as the new dis -- that shiznit is catchy.

Damon
Damon

OMG ,My best friend,she just get a rich daddy  whois the CEO of a MNC !they met via ------Sugarmingle.℃ОM------- ..it is the largest and best club for sugar daddy and sugarbaby to chat online. …you don’t have to be rich there ,but you can meet one ,It's worthy a try. You do not have to be rich or famous. !- 

Slblaha81
Slblaha81

My name is Steven blaha and I am the so called author of the first email that is referenced in this article. When you see it in black and white it is startling. I am not saying I didn't write it because I did. It was 2 am, id been drinking johnie walker black for 12 hours trying to wash away the hurricanes last second loss to Virginia tech. I read Mr raab's excerpts on "the whore of akron" and I basically blacked out in anger and hatred . I let fly and I wish I could take it back , first I must apologize to Mr Raab as I would never ever wish that on a man's child. I became who I hated and that was Scott Raab. I lashed out without care and I tried to burn down bridges and lives. My main point was never to be the title of an article or to show my friends . I just want Mr Raab to stop. Stop with the books and the venom , the hatred and the bile. I am a south floridian, I have lived here my whole life . I am not a cretin and I cheer as hard as I possibly can. I'm a lot like him. That's what I have come to find out in my hours of soul searching . I will try not to be Scot raab as my mother is not proud of me and my girlfriend won't talk to me till I apologized.. I hope the man I hate accepts this and I am not quite sure I even hate him anymore its just not worth it the person I became.. very sorry truly sorry . Sb

Jeffkrowley
Jeffkrowley

now i'm sure of it...Raab has no friends, can't get laid and has a little peepee...get off his back everyone before he harms himself

Heat fan since 94
Heat fan since 94

dude raab, are you just envious that nobody is going to write a book called " The whore of esquire" about you? your 50 but clearly act like a 5 year old..... he was a free agent.... he could have joined the lakers for league minimum if he wanted to. I think you need some counseling or something, us heat fans are worried that your going to hang yourself the moment lebron wins a ring ( which will happen, dont try to deny it, the mavs were a cinderella). I think this book is a desperate call for attention/help from you... go see a therapist because unlike us, they will actually listen to the crap that comes out your mouth. 

Tjanicestean
Tjanicestean

LEBRON JAMES IS NO DICK HEAD, THE ONE THAT WROTE THE STORY IS A DICKHEAD....AND CAN WE HAVE A BREAK FROM HATING ON LEBRON....IT SO MANY FOOLS IN THE NBA...TRY AND PICK A FEW....WHAT ABOUT THE PLAYERS THAT BOUGHT THE GUN TO A GAME, NOW WE NEED FOR HIM TO HEAR ABOUT THIS OVER AND OVER SO THAT NOW ELSE GETS THAT BRIGHT IDEA....AND WHAT ABOUT THE PLAYER THAT GOT INTO TROUBLE IN A BAR...AND THE PLAYER THAT GOT INTO TROUBLE FOR A SO CALL RAPE...NOW THESE MEN ARE THE DICKHEADS OF THE YEAR AND BEYOND....SO THE DECISON IS NOT THAT BAD.....SO PLEASE CHOOSE A FEW, BECAUSE THERE ARE LESSONS TO LEARN....NOT MAKING A DECISON ABOUT A CARRER CHANGE....AN OHIO FAN.....

nornk
nornk

I knew little chub scott raab back in cleveland in the day. He was a momma's boy , and now he is a sad sack living like an insipid parasite off a faulty rep concerning Le Bron's career.

Scott needs to grow up , man up , and shut up.

True Cleveland sports fans suck it up , and do not yelp and ouch when our teams lose , or the players leave for brighter pastures.

Riley
Riley

Seep is a DICK-No punctuation-and Raab is also

seep
seep

What is it with Miami people and punctuation?  When they write a contraction, they don't use apostrophes; but when they make a plural, they always stick an apostrophe in there.  Look: the plural of Nike is not Nike's.  The plural of parent is not parent's.  I think you'll find that this rule applies to all plurals (not plural's).  Stop using random punctuation!

Raab
Raab

First of all, apology accepted, SB. No worries.

As for the rest of you...relax. The book excerpt in Esquire is a few pages out of 300. Plenty of stuff in there about how much I like Miami, about coming to terms with being a crazed Cleveland fan, and about the pulled-pork omelet at Big Pink.

raab
raab

You knew me from where, exactly? You're either delusional or a liar.

Jeffkrowley
Jeffkrowley

thats an awsome comment..I just wonder why the media keeps portraying fans from Cleveland as losers by only showing the ones with vindictive Lebron stalker syndrome instead of the rational ones that have every right to be Lebron critics but dont necessarily stoop to the "don't have a life of my own", "spiteful hater" level...btw Lebron is a foolish kid, raab actually is a publicity whore

GusGarciaRoberts
GusGarciaRoberts

"True Cleveland sports fans suck it up , and do not yelp and ouch when our teams lose , or the players leave for brighter pastures"

Well, there's the least true statement ever.

Apraisalman
Apraisalman

Dude if people were writing essays im sure they would give a flying motha fudge but since we dont care we do what we feel like and write what da hell we want ...k? fuck off

EAT IT, MIAMI
EAT IT, MIAMI

This man knows his stuff. Best thing at Big Pink is the pulled pork omelet. Re: the Esquire article, it makes us all look like a bunch of cry-baby dummies to react this way. I'd like to hear some reasoned responses that employ logic rather than grammatically incorrect diatribes and physical threats. Those are boring and predictable. Plus, totally hypocritical. You don't tell someone he's in the wrong for saying that he wishes violence and death on someone by threatening him with the same. That's so stupid! Say something like "players are mercenaries, and it's actually sort of honorable that Lebron took a pay cut to play with his friends in the hopes of winning a championship. He doesn't owe the crappy city of Cleveland a goddamned thing after he breathed life into a city that clearly doesn't appreciate him." Blah, blah, blah. You know, stuff like that.

seep
seep

Oh you will care.  You will all care.

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