Dolphins Lose On Thanksgiving Day
Yet, they couldn't score touchdowns when they needed to and failed to close shit out at the end, allowing the Cowboys to hit a last second field goal for the 20-19 win.
The Abbreviated Thanksgiving Weekend Rundown:
- This team can't do anything the easy way. Brandon Marshall scored on a 35-yard touchdown where he made a spectacular catch as he was nearly strangled and killed by a Cowboys DB. And yet, throw him a catchable lob into the endzone when he's wide open, and his hands turn into ass.
- Reggie Bush came back down to earth with a 61-yard performance on 16 carries. He also had 35 yards receiving, meaning he failed to crack 100 total yards. LaMonttelle Pussyhammer must have been distracted.
- A little surprising that Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant didn't go crazy in this game, seeing that this was the first time he ever played against the Dolphins since GM Jeff Ireland asked him if his mother was a dirty cocksucking whore. Frankly, I was expecting an explosive outing by the second-year receiver. I find it quite objectionable that you failed do more, Dez. Color me vexed and disappointed that you didn't have 200 yards receiving, three touchdowns, and didn't run into the owner's box to stab Jeff Ireland in the face with a trident.
- The Shit Rainbows & Blow Unicorns Super Positive Dolphins Fans need to now finally face the facts. This team is one gargantuan pile of deer shit. Matt Moore is not the answer to your prayers (unless you prayed for a marionette puppet for a QB). And there is little reason to win any more games this season. Even had the Dolphins won yesterday, the playoff picture would still look bleak. This is what happens when you lose your first seven games and have no franchise quarterback to speak of. This team blows and needs to lose as many games as possible so it can stop blowing and we can all stop cheering for mediocrity and 3-8 seasons. So go visit your local emergency room, ask the nurse for an opium suppository and shut the fuck up already.
The Dolphins will host the Oakland Raiders next Sunday. Kickoff is at 1 p.m.
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