Bleach-Blond Carjackers, Gangsta John Waters, and God

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

​Arrested: 11/10
Charged with: DUI with damage to property or person, armed burglary, resisting officer without violence, escape
This guy looks like he spent his whole life getting the tattoos and the golds and the facial hair and then making this face in the mirror, all in anticipation of this moment. Way to live the dream, man.

​ ​Arrested: 11/9
Charged with: Grand theft auto, felony battery
Yep, these fellas were arrested together. Is there some Pizza Hut Eminem carjacking spree going on we didn't know about?

​Arrested: 11/5
Charged with: Grand theft auto, strongarm robbery
We were gonna say this guy looks like a gangsta John Waters, but then we realized that John Waters is already pretty gangsta. Didn't he film a woman eating poop?