How The Man With A "Fuck You" Neck Tattoo Stole Mugshots Friday

Categories: Mugshots Friday
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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

113hipsterprospector.jpg
Arrested: 10/30
Charged with: Battery
Sorry, hipster prospector...

114lockedoutquizzicaledgarallenpoe.jpg
Arrested: 10/29
Charged with: Petty Theft
Sorry, quizzical NBA lockout Edgar Allen Poe...

114guydoinginterestingthingswithundershirts.jpg
Arrested: 11/3
Charged with: Possession of cocaine and marijuana with intent to deliver, resisting officer without violence to his person
Sorry, fellow doing interesting things with undershirts...


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16 comments
Kylie Gillis
Kylie Gillis

I look in his face and I love him.  I hate this heartless world that sent him to this place.

FQS9000
FQS9000

These gentlemen all appear to be decent people unfairly harassed by the brutal po-po.  They all need help, understanding and more welfare benefits, then they could all become law abiding good citizens.  They are all victims of the system.  We should all be ashamed of ourselves for failing them.  Their moms and teachers are all proud of the fine job they have done in raising and teaching them.

How sad that the New Times is ridiculing these fine men.

Televisor
Televisor

Vernon6, I'm sorry you're so scared. I would advise to clench your cheeks tight, constrict and retain. Remember: The real monsters bare no tattoos, just go and stroll down Madison Ave., Wall Street and Pennsylvania Avenue. More useful tips: Stay away from the alleys, turn off FOX news, vote for Obama, grab BadRonald by the hand and run to the hills, the warriors have their warpaint on and they're-a-comin' to getcha!Oh! and before I forget Vern: how about getting a swastika tattooed on your forehead so we can peg you easily during your stroll and dump some nice steaming bullshit on you before switching sidewalks. (GusGarciaROBERTS: well done good sir! funny man! funEEE!)

Vernon6
Vernon6

This rampant tattooing is a symptom of the growing barbarism in American life. Tattooing has traditionally been a marginal activity among civilized people, the calling card of cannibals, sailors, and whores. The appropriate place for it is on the margins, in the back alleys, the skid rows. The mainstreaming of tattoos is a harbinger of social dysfunction.

Bob Johnson
Bob Johnson

I gotta tattoo for all of you tough guys - this one will conform you and end your life's misery: BANG!

Not A Beach Bum
Not A Beach Bum

Also, if you do your research, Chief has actually been arrested THREE times in Miami Beach in the last week...no wonder he is "moving on".

Not A Beach Bum
Not A Beach Bum

I know "Chief"(the guy in the last two photos). He has a huge drinking problem (smokes cigarettes too) which is unfortunate since he is actually a pretty nice guy. He's been hanging out at the beach parks in the area. Saw him yesterday and he said he is heading out of town for a least a couple of weeks (Kansas or Kentucky or something like that). He gives a tough mugshot though...too funny.

anon_e_m00se
anon_e_m00se

*Looks at last two pictures**Stands from chair**Slowly golf claps*

Courtney Atkinson
Courtney Atkinson

I wish I could agree, however, I'm getting a tattoo with my mother's birthday and death date on my shoulder. Granted, this is something purely for me, and will be on my shoulder so it won't be visible at all times, but there are also some tattoos that are absolutely gorgeous. Not to mention, my godfather has his children's footprints tattooed on him, which is just very sweet, in my opinion.

GusGarciaRoberts
GusGarciaRoberts

Ooh, can you turn other topics into 1920s-era anthropological literature?

Do "miniskirts"!

Vernon6
Vernon6

It's a telling revelation; an actual physical manifestation of how insecure we are as a people & as a nation -  particularly American males. As James Howard Kunstler said, we're beginning to look like a nation of people that have just been released from prison. It's one thing to get some tattoos with the idea that you are artfully expressing something. It's another thing to deploy them around your body parts as though you were slapping decals on a 1989 beater car. Everywhere around us there are mutts with tattoos on their necks, their boobs, the sides of their heads, their knuckles, their ankles. The idea, apparently, is to make yourself appear as frightening as possible - and I can tell you it is a very successful initiative. Can lady Gaga please write us a new national anthem: America the horror movie.

Bebep
Bebep

I almost thought for a second he was doing one on miniskirts. Shame.

BadRonald
BadRonald

Well said, both times, Vernon6.  It seems that your take is perhaps a bit too sophisticated for an insecure pseudo-journalist like GusGarciaRoberts, but I'm diggin' it, and agree 100%!

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