Occupy Miami Needs to Expand: Five Places Worth Protesting the Crap Out Of

Lead on, Pied Piper. To Star Island!

​"Occupy Miami is hidden," one woman randomly complained to us over the phone earlier this week. "No one even knows that they are there!"

To be fair, she may have a point. Tucked behind the Stephen P. Clark Government Center like a cozy small-town college tailgating party, Occupy Miami has proved one of the nation's most peaceful -- and perhaps least confrontational -- anti-Wall Street protests. This Tuesday's march to Bank of America was a start, but maybe it's time to think bigger.

We're not advocating Oakland-style dumpster fires or anything, but here's a list of five places we think could do with a visit from the 99 percent.

5. American Airlines Arena:
So close to Government Center... yet so far from being picketed. How come? After all, sports are one of the few things we Toyota-Camry-with-the-ceiling-panel-falling-in-driving 99 percenters have to brighten our plebeian days.

So why shouldn't we pissed that incredibly rich and generally disliked owners like Micky Arison -- who doesn't even pay rent for the county-owned arena -- and incredibly rich (although mostly beloved) sports stars like Dwayne Wade and LeBron James can't figure out how to get back on the court and make sweet, sweet basketball love happen once again?

4. Miami Marlins' New Stadium:
It's the things we love most -- namely sports teams -- that most often turn around and kick us in the nuts. Like the Heat, the Florida Miami Marlins has done its fair share of civic damage. First, owner Jeffrey Loria lied about the millions he had in his coffers. Then he and sycophantic politician buddies left Miami taxpayers with what could eventually be a $2.4 billion bill.

Then, as if to rub BenGay on our already aching testes, the ball-club unveiled its ridiculous new logo and an impossibly garish "signature home-run sculpture" complete with lasers and psychedelic fish.

Besides, you can't tell us that The Condome wouldn't look better with a big "V" spray painted on the side.