Miami's Federal Jail Overrun With Strippers Posing As Paralegals, Lawyers Say

Categories: Crime
Stripper_Silhouette.png
Coming soon to a jail cell near you...
Stripteases, sexual favors, booze, porn mags, and fat stacks of cash would be run-of-the-mill in many Miami strip clubs. But at downtown's maximum security Federal Detention Center?

Multiple attorneys interviewed by Riptide say the FDC visitor rooms have been taken over by South American pole dancers posing as paralegals for wealthy drug lords inside. Lawyers hired by the accused narco dons allegedly list the scantily clad women as "legal assistants," and the FDC lets them in. Meanwhile, attorneys who refuse to go along risk losing their clients to lawyers with busty beauties on staff.

"They take off their tops and let the guys touch them," veteran defense attorney Hugo Rodriguez says. "The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC. Any lawyer can sign a form and designate a legal assistant. There is no way of verifying it. The process is being abused."

The accusations are difficult to prove. An FDC spokeswoman declined to comment, and prison officials refused Riptide's requests for any incident reports on faux paralegals being tossed from the facility.

But attorneys swear the scam is ongoing. One "discovery room" normally used to discuss trial strategy was recently closed, they say, after guards caught an inmate and a paralegal "discovering" more than legal documents.

Story continues on next page...

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Claire
Claire

I just moved here from TX and this article is very true! I used to dance in TX but since i moved to south florida i have found these illegal women are willing to do whatever they have to for any amount of cash which baffels the hell out of m! They have no shame and are so open! I find it disguisting and irritating. Dont get me wrong, there are dirty women at every club for the simple fact that managers dont do anything cause they get tipped when the girl is finished with the deed but i mean it is out of control here and I look around at nobody doing a single thing about it!! WHY!

Hooperc41
Hooperc41

What a joke! I think it's funny that they get away with manipulation of the judicial system, but try that in Michigan! Lawyers would get disbarred and the hookers would get locked up! Uptight judicial system in Michigan? Maybe!

Chris
Chris

What about focusing a little of the story about how these girls are being exploited and probably forced into this line of work. The 'disgust' from the female attorney over how these girls give her a bad image made my stomach turn. If these girls weren't being exploited then who cares? Playboy magazines? Alcohol through a straw? Wtf cares. But absolutely no focus on the human rights abuses surely going on there. FAIL.

WideAwakeInSeattle
WideAwakeInSeattle

We'll get to the bottom of this - just waterboard em all - lawyers, strippers, inmates, the warden, the mayor. They are probably all terrorists anyway. Dick Cheney had it right - only way to get good intel and protect our American way of life is with the ol' waterboard.

Obwon
Obwon

hahaha...  But...  Who's gonna waterboard the waterboarders?

Selita Banks
Selita Banks

THATS AWESOME. I would be a legal aid and shake my brazilian booty in the jail ;) gotta have fun you only live once everyone needs to relax...

michael wind
michael wind

most florida attorneys do cocaine and party with strippers,just ask jose smith the miami beach city attorney ans his hookers at maddona club.

Aber
Aber

easy solution: execute everyone in jail.

Ageofknowledge
Ageofknowledge

These 3rd Worlders have already made a mockery out of our country.

Obwon
Obwon

No worse than what we've allowed.

Marty Gary
Marty Gary

"...waiting on lines to get into LIV"

What is LIV?

Olga
Olga

are you joking? But if you don't know, it's a club. One of the most expensive and celebrity packed.  It's like the studio 54 of this time in Miami.  It's pretty good, but I prefer midtown joints.

schmeep
schmeep

Pics or it didn't happen.

Jtynis
Jtynis

thats how fllorida politicians and police make there money.....da

Andrewronaldsmith
Andrewronaldsmith

She says "This is still kind of a male-dominated profession." No it isn't, 60 percent of all lawyers now are female. Feminists can say anything and be taken seriously, not matter how factually false it is.

Loren
Loren

Thankfully, lying misogynists can't say anything and be taken seriously. 

Nunyabidness_69
Nunyabidness_69

According to the American Bar Association, 24% of attorneys in the US are women, and 44% of law students are female. 76 percent seems pretty dominant, wouldn't you say?

anon
anon

I think she means criminal defense as a subset of the profession.

ManhattanProject
ManhattanProject

No harm, no foul 

Fxm
Fxm

really u must b retarded or a lawyer..Blame the work horses 4real..HEY liberal first thing pulled out of the hat is i was denied meeting with my client your honor..

a real paralegal
a real paralegal

except for the fact that we, as taxpayers, are paying for it, in more ways than one . . .

Detex
Detex

I don't see how we are paying for their strippers.

Pkrevbro
Pkrevbro

Then I'd like a paralegal to go....and tell her to bring her sister...

Hobb1t
Hobb1t

How do you figure? Obviously these drug lords aren't using public defenders and the state its buying them condoms

TungDoo
TungDoo

lol, oh I am sure the guards are all in on it, and on the payroll as well. Corruption is bliss.surf-privacy.tk

Tipmeformydance
Tipmeformydance

I'm all for it. If it's just drug dealers then they have been wrongly imprisoned in the first place. Definitely a Miami special.

Warick1234
Warick1234

As the saying goes... a lawyer will always $%@^ you one way or another!

Nome Jodas
Nome Jodas

Another one for the "Only in Miami" file!

Grant Stern
Grant Stern

fiction is boring and unnecessary if you live in #Miami

claire<3
claire<3

Only because you perves are used to these easy prostitutes who dont have their damn green card and are willing to do all that sick shit for you.

Tpotts1967
Tpotts1967

Quite simple. The system does not work. Rehabillitation is a joke.

Tpareso
Tpareso

They don't try to rehabilitate anyone. The systems in denmark offer training, counseling, psychological help. Not to mention porno and conjugal visits. But here, its not about getting better. Its about punishment, suffering. You know, some real judeo-christian b.s.

Darigi
Darigi

We should offer training and counseling - not to be like Denmark but because it makes sense, it would cost us all less in many ways.  Our justice system wastes lives and money. Instead of helping an otherwise miserable life, in many many cases, they pile on and make it even more difficult for the individual when they are released to enter society again.I don't think we should be required to provide porno or conjugal visits. And, that should be "Judeo-Christian"  ;>}

JEREMY
JEREMY

Reading this article makes me fell vindicated in the knowledge that my home state,Illinois,did not exactly set the bar for political corruption.Our recent governor has been sentenced to 15 yrs. in prison for the usual dirty politics.He'd have been much better off in Florida.Maybe they should fly some of those stripper/lawyers to meet with him in jail.He'd be lovin' it like McDonald's.They might even form a music act,since he likes to play Elvis, they could be his back-up singers.   

Fredredeye
Fredredeye

I see that you're a criminal coddler.

Obwon
Obwon

I don't see how you can say that after looking at that system and seeing the results.  That is,  unless you haven't look and are merely replying "off the top of your head". as it were.  We know that crime hurts everyone,  not just it's victims,  therefore what we seek is not punishment,  for the sake of revenge,  but real reduction and/or elimination of crime.  Various countries have tried different approaches to the problem of crime.  As we look around the world we see the different results.  So then,  the question is begged,  why would you refuse to look at (or for) successful crime reduction solutions?  Is there something else going on in your head that maybe we should know about?

a real paralegal
a real paralegal

So, in other words, there is no "jail" to speak of in Denmark -- it's more like a free country club.  The POINT of being in jail, sir, is punishment and suffering for the crimes committed against law-abiding citizens.  Otherwise, it would be a free-for-all -- think Mad Max.

jeff
jeff

is it mad max in denmark?

BackToMaaheco
BackToMaaheco

"The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens"

non-citizens?  seems like an easy solution....

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