Matchmaking With Mugshots, a Nervous Chuckle, and a Beard-Off

​​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

​Arrested: 12/10
Charged with: Possession of cannabis with intent to sell, trespassing after warning, battery, possession of cocaine with intent to sell (within 1,000 feet of a church or convenience store), resisting officer with violence
Now that is a fucking jacket.

​Arrested: 12/11
Charged with: Grand theft auto, knowingly driving with license suspended (second offense)
What a Miami gangstette. A "305" tattoo framed by brass knuckles. One problem: Who would date a woman with weapons inked on her chest?

​Arrested: 12/11
Charged with: Disorderly conduct
Bam. We are the Match.com of accused criminals.