Mugshots Fridays: The 2011 Muggies

By Gus Garcia-Roberts Fri., Dec. 23 2011 at 8:00 AM

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Welcome to the first-annual Muggies, in which we bequeath honors on those accused criminals who ruled their respective mugshot categories in 2011. Is this just another year-in-review re-tread featuring half-baked holiday references? You tell us, mistletoe dick. The envelopes, please ...

Best face tattoos:

Arrested: 2/10

Charged with: Marijuana possession

What would frat boys do if this guy passed out on their floor drunk? Erase some of the shit on his face?

Best AARP card-carrier:

Arrested: 9/26
Charged with: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, domestic battery by strangulation, threat against a public servant, battery on emergency medical care provider

When we first featured this fella's mugshot, we said he looked like Ed Koch on HGH. How foolish of us. We meant he looks like the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond on GBH. Anyway, you know you're secure in your elderly badass-ness when you don't mind wearing gold chains that accent the fact that your neck looks like the upper part of a vagina.

Tags:

Mugshots Friday

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TROUBLE3O5

yooo TATTOO fuck the close minded people who want to judge you as druggie or satanic or w/e based solely on your appearance...let me remind them that most of the craziest serial killers we've seen in this lifetime are crazy upper class spoiled white people with too much time,money,and kinks

"the difference between people with tattoos and without tattoos...is that we dont give a FUCK whether you have them or not!"

glass slipper

I want to cum all over your tramp stamp, por favor.

TROUBLE3O5

hate to burst your bubble cinderella but no tramp stamps here! and cumming on my face( + anal ) is reserved solely for my future husband so unless you're gonna hop on that train ride and begin a courtship with me i suggest you think before you type xoxo

Jessica

I am a 26 years old girl, down to earth and cute but still single ... I wanna find my lover who can give me a real love,so I joined in the seekcasual.COM,it's the best club for man and woman finding their intimate encounters. Well, you do not have to be lonely , you can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.

Mark Spencer NY

The fellow with the skid marks on the face neck and bold eagle head need a shrink fast I believe he was on more than Marijuana when they took the mug shot he provably was drunk when they srible all that on his body I believe that if he ever gets to have children they will be the one shamed by his ignorancy Say guy it is your life any way do not blame us if you look Satanic good look in your next life you provably will remember the stupid thing you did and never again think of a Tatoo in fact in your next life if you are walking and see a Tatoo shop you provably cross the street and speed out of the area fast !!!

SEE YAA

The "Hot Lady" is hot.

TATTOO

THATS ME IN THE PIC WITH THE TATTOOS,,AND NO FRAT BOYS WOULD TOUCH ME,,CUZ ILL SNAP ON SOME ONE,,,,, TRUST ME IM MORE MEAN IN PERSON TRY ME,,,,

JoeyChop

Yo Tattoo! Fuck those close minded idiots. Your one of the coolest cats on the beach and I would trust ya anytime brudda!

urbabymama

U UGLY MENG LOL

About That

Don't worry "TATTOO," no frat boys would even let you touch there bongs, let alone into one of there houses or parties to begin with!!

glass slipper

You actually look like an attention starved confused douchebag, but that is just me.

Do you have any "Aeropostale" shirts and hats?

Strong_Girls__28

Тhis is сrаzу...Мy friеnd`s sistеr mакеs 78/hr оn thе intеrnеt. Shе hаs bееn unеmрlоуеd fоr 11 mоnths but lаst mоnth hеr incоmе wаs 7985$ јust wоrкing оn thе РС fоr а fеw hоurs. Read about it here ....... C a s h M a n y . c о m