Mugshots Fridays: The 2011 Muggies
Welcome to the first-annual Muggies, in which we bequeath honors on those accused criminals who ruled their respective mugshot categories in 2011. Is this just another year-in-review re-tread featuring half-baked holiday references? You tell us, mistletoe dick. The envelopes, please ...
Best face tattoos:
Charged with: Marijuana possession
What would frat boys do if this guy passed out on their floor drunk? Erase some of the shit on his face?
Best AARP card-carrier:
Charged with: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, domestic battery by strangulation, threat against a public servant, battery on emergency medical care provider
When we first featured this fella's mugshot, we said he looked like Ed Koch on HGH. How foolish of us. We meant he looks like the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond on GBH. Anyway, you know you're secure in your elderly badass-ness when you don't mind wearing gold chains that accent the fact that your neck looks like the upper part of a vagina.