The Ten Biggest Miami Losers of 2011

By Kyle Munzenrieder Fri., Dec. 16 2011 at 8:30 AM

Two thousand eleven is almost over, and some of us had better years than others. For most, this year seemed like a downer. But, hey, at least you didn't accidentally spend almost $20K at a strip club, get recalled from office, or embarrass yourself on national television. It really could have been worse. Seriously, Miami-Dade had much bigger losers to offer this year. Let's take a schadenfreude trip down memory lane.

Mark S. Gold, Ticket Clinic founder and failed strip club enthusiast
If I were a well-off dude who woke up one morning and discovered I put almost $20,000 on my credit card the previous night at a strip club, I'd probably take the financial loss, take a hard look at my life, and hope to God no one ever found out. Mark S. Gold, the local lawyer who specialized in DUI cases and was better known to some as the guy from the Ticket Clinic commercials, decided he would sue someone. So he filed a lawsuit against Goldrush strip club in Miami, claiming he had gotten so drunk that the place shouldn't have kept accepting his credit card. We caught wind of the lawsuit (not to mention the scores of other media outlets who followed us), and, well, we're sure taking the $20K hit might have been worth avoiding the bad PR and public embarrassment.

Natacha Seijas, deposed county commissioner and dictionary definition of vile
We get the feeling that the successful recall of county Commissioner Natacha Seijas -- whose personality is akin to heated yogurt served on a bed of shredded sandpaper -- was fueled simply by the fact that no one much cared for her. At least Mayor Carlos Alvarez had scandals involving fast cars and cronyism. Seijas's wrongdoings weren't much worse than those of many of her fellow commissioners, who were also targeted. Yet only the recall petition against Seijas was successful. It's sort of a wonder and a sad testament to local politics that someone who comes across as a post-lobotomy Wicked Witch of the West can even get elected into public office in the first place.

Tags:

Burger King, Chad Henne, Charlie's Angels, Katherine Fernandez Rundle, Natacha Seijas, Paulina Rubio, Rich Sanchez, Rick Scott

We Recommend

Polly King

The STD counselor on a Herpes support site pozloving, com said herpes doesn't live outside the body for long..and you can not catch it from inanimate objects in a VERY RARE case if someone with herpes uses a towel after the shower and rubs enough of the "virus" off and someone uses it immediately after there is a VERY slim chance of them getting is since the towel is still damp.. but that would be a very rare occurrence.Don't upset by Herpes. 1 in 4 get STD in USA. Most of people on ==== " stdster , com" ===== said it is just a minor virus. And they can deal with it during their se life. I am curious to know the details.

Strong_Girls__28

Тhis is сrаzу...Мy friеnd`s sistеr mакеs 78/hr оn thе intеrnеt. Shе hаs bееn unеmрlоуеd fоr 11 mоnths but lаst mоnth hеr incоmе wаs 7985$ јust wоrкing оn thе РС fоr а fеw hоurs. Read about it here ....... C a s h M a n y . c о m

disqusdik

Not surprised to find out Paulina Rubio is half-crazy. No woman that hot comes without baggage. Although, I'll be happy to come on her baggage anytime.

Drake Mallard

what about the tax payer?

Rocky Alvarez

Another Rick Sanchez slam Kyle? So predictable. Guy did football broadcasts for free bro. Let the hate go. You work for a rag dude. News Flash: It's not a real paper. It's like Back Page, but with articles. yes, Rick is done bro. Career is finished. lol. Stay tuned ;)

http://www.latinomagazine.com/...

Vee

Real Housewives of Miami?!?

Shitbull

YES.

country girl

Add Rick Scott to my list.

country girl

Good choices. Seijas, Fernendez-Rundle and Sanchez are high on my list too.

Info

How about the New Times. How many different occasions did I read people calling the publication out for plagiarism and all out faking of articles. Do you have an editor over there?

Jose D. Duran

LOL! Troll.

Tim Elfrink

Want to cite some examples, "Info"? New Times doesn't plagiarize. If you've got a specific beef, let's have it.

Lera Gavin

Yeah Tim,

Stop plagiarizing!!!!!! You're clearly stealing all of your stuff from Miami Herald!

Peter Thompson

Here ya go, Tim:

"You see, up in Niceville, Florida earlier this week, a 32-year-old woman had her boyfriend stop their 1998 Mitsubishi SUV in the middle of an intersection. The two proceeded to make some whoopee in the car. The pair might have gotten away with it, but then they decided to both walk out of the car completely nude, according to NWFDailyNews.com. That's when a woman who lived near the intersection decided to call police. Officers arrived on the scene and asked the couple to put on their clothes, but the woman refused." Everyone has already seen me naked, I don't have to get dressed now," she told the officer while standing completely naked in the middle of the intersection. She finally got dressed and left the scene, but decided to come back for one more bit of insanity. She popped a squat and urinated on the driveway of the woman who originally called police. She then started yelling at the woman for ratting her out. The urination was caught on surveillance video." Kyle Munzenrieder, Fri., Dec. 2 2011

"A 32-year-old woman was arrested on charges of indecent exposure. According to the Niceville Police report, the woman parked her 1998 Mitsubishi SUV at the intersection of Cadillac Avenue and Martha Street to have sex with her boyfriend. A woman near the intersection told officers she saw the man and woman, both nude, walk out of the vehicle. When officers arrived, the couple was instructed to put their clothes back on, but the woman refused. "Everyone has already seen me naked, I don't have to get dressed now," she told the officer while standing outside her vehicle at the intersection for several minutes before getting dressed. The woman then left the area, but later returned and urinated on the sidewalk of the woman who called in to complain about her. She then went to the woman's porch and began yelling at the woman for calling police. The woman was captured on video surveillance urinating on the woman's sidewalk."NWFDailynews.com, December 01, 2011