Want to Buy the Naming Rights to a Public School Cafeteria? Proposed Law Would Let You

Categories: Politicks
We'd be OK with a Chris Farley Memorial Cafeteria
Lunch might be the favorite school subject of many children across the state, and a new bill filed by a Boca Raton Democrat would allow corporations to capitalize on that by letting them buy the naming rights to public school cafeterias.

Rep. Irv Slosberg has a history of proposing laws that would allow selling the naming rights to various other government properties, including state roads and public parks, but his latest idea seems the strangest.

Dubbed the "Public School Food Service Enhancement Act," the bill would allow school districts to sell the naming rights to cafeterias. Each district would determine the exact specifics of such an agreement, including the display of the name. The money raised would go back into funding school lunches and improving nutritional options.

Slosberg isn't looking to target private donors who can't quite afford the naming rights to a hospital wing or an art museum, but instead hopes to lure corporations.

"You know what? We can name our ballparks Allstate Stadium or whatever... to maximize the dollars," he tells the St. Pete Times. "We should be looking around for every last penny."

Imagine it: the Pokemon Cafeteria Presented by Nintendo at elementary schools, the Clearisil Acne Cream Student Nutrition Center at middle schools, and the Marlboro Reminds All Students to Not Smoke Delicious Marlboro Cigarettes food corral at high schools.

We just wonder if corporations will want to associate themselves with public school cafeterias. These are places that legally consider pizza a vegetable.

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"the Marlboro Reminds All Students to Not Smoke Delicious Marlboro Cigarettes food corral"

reminded me of Infinite Jest

glass slipper
glass slipper

Figures a sleazy hebe is behind this.

 Doesn't this beanie wearing scum have some Palestinian children to terrorize?

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