Drunk Miami Republicans Rally For Santorum and Rick Scott

By Jacob Katel Mon., Jan. 30 2012 at 8:30 AM

Jacob Katel

Rick Santorum vs Victor Gonzalez

Alcohol impairs your judgment? Screw it, we'll have a shot of whiskey, a beer, and a Latin Builders Association membership application.

Starting early Friday morning in downtown Miami, the LBA invited guests to drink their way to Decision 2012, offering 2 cocktail sessions between speeches by Newt Gingrich, Gov. Rick Scott, and Rick Santorum. Mitt "The Muppet" Romney may be soaring in the Florida polls, but Santorum garnered the powerful Hispanic bloc's endorsement for GOP presidential candidate.

We got ourselves into the party and asked the people important questions like what they were drinking, and what they thought about Newt Gingrich's ambitious moon colonization program.

We also caught Florida Gov. Rick Scott making weird faces. Scott dropped by to stick his tongue out at the table, during a prayer.

Not the Michael Jordan of Governors

He also gave a quick speech encouraging constituents to contact his office directly with questions, comments, and suggestions while we grubbed on the free Hilton salad, chicken cordon bleu, and slice of chocolate cake.

El Baldo is a true believer

Next up came Rick Santorum, who delivered a surprisingly powerful speech about his dad working the Pennsylvania coal fields till he was 72. Then he smashed all that blue collar rhetoric with his personal traveling makeup assistant. That's a campaign volunteer hooking him up seconds before a live CNN interview with Wolf Blitzer.

All in all, we learned Republicans like to party, the Latin Builders Association throws a good one, Rick Scott commands attention, and Rick Santorum wears makeup.

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Tags:

Election 2012, GOP, Latin Builders Association, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santroum, Rick Scott

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Jodie Gould

I understand that Mitt also eats pizza and KFC (skin removed)! The Mormons are aghast.

John22

Won** Sorry for the typo.

John22

If this author actually studied history, he would know that makeup was a huge reason Kennedy won the election against Nixon. Did you know that the people who heard the debate on the radio thought Nixon had one, but those who watched chose Kennedy. Makeup has been a huge part of elections ever since. So please Jacob Katel, do some research before you publish trash like this.

Jacob29

Nixon was ugly, JFK was good looking, no amount of makeup would have changed that

FLnative

Well, that certainly explains the quality of construction in south Florida!

dolphan56

Don't know about you, but I'm really wowed by Rick Santorum. And the otherworldly Rick Scott too. Don't blame those LBA members for getting drunk at 11AM in the morning, especially considering that roster of speakers!!

DianeB5

All the Republican candidates say they want to privatize Social Security. Privatizing Social Security would blow a big hole in the trust fund. President Obama said he refuses to privatize Social Security or cut benefits. Why would any senior want to vote for the Republican nominee in the general election?

Ms.Sanscrotum

Meh...Santorum. Call me cynical, but it sure seems like convenient timing for him to be waving his sick/dying kid around as a campaign prop for sympathy votes. Tough to tell which is more retarded--his governing philosophy or his re-re. Also tough to tell which is dying faster--his campaign or his kid. Probably time to pull the plug. And he ought to end his campaign too.

Joseph Edward Bodden

so what is the difference between licking your lips and sticking your tongue out? depends on how 'cutesy' the reporter wants to get, to compensate for lack of anything intelligent to say.

re the elder Santorum - good for him, so when is HE running for president?

Tellkell

I was there covering this and while I thought it was odd that there was an 11AM cash bar, this article smacks of someone trying too hard to make something out of nothing. P.S. Here at the Herald building, when reporters are asked to do video, many are quite concerned about whether they need to put on make-up.

Francisco Alvarado

Are you a reporter or a fucking news anchor? Either way you probably suck at both. Now go fetch Fred Grimm his coffee you intern lackey!

Jose D. Duran

God help us if we ever take pointers from the Herald. I rather work for a high schooler's 'zine.

GusGarciaRoberts

You sound insufferable. Do you start every sentence with "Here at the Herald building"? "Here at the Herald building, we put lime wedges in our sparkling water." "Here at the Herald building, we listen to Yanni records on Friday afternoons."