In Most Obvious Statement Ever, Jeff Ireland Says Dolphins Need a QB Upgrade

Categories: Sports
Thumbnail image for Jeff Ireland Big Mug Shot.jpg
In remarks to the media today, Miami Dolphins General Manager Jeff Ireland said, "We need a quarterback that can get us over the hump." Though he praised Matt Moore's solid and reliable mediocrity, he said the Dolphins "have to do better."

Ireland is clearly a man with a singular vision and deep knowledge of football. It's not every day you hear a general manager of a failing football franchise tell the media about his bold vision of making his team "better."

"We've got to tweak it for sure and make some strong acquisitions to get where we need to get," Ireland continued. "There's no doubt there will be a few changes."

Truly deep and introspective words from a football genius. "Get where we need to get." Pure inspirational poetry.

Ireland then went on to say he is confident that the sky is blue, the grass is green, and winning a Super Bowl would indeed be "good."

Asked what he's looking for in a quarterback, Ireland replied, "Generally, we'd like someone who was able to pass the ball to a receiver who could then run that ball into the end zone to score a touchdown. Ideally, we'd like to find someone who could do that multiple times throughout any given game."

All kidding aside (and, yes, we were kidding in those last two paragraphs), Ireland did actually make one semi-interesting statement: "We've got to do our best to make the position better ... Aaron Rodgers was a 24th pick. Tom Brady was a sixth-round pick. Tony Romo was a free agent. There are guys out there. We've just got to find them."

Whether Ireland is the man to help the team find such a diamond-in-the-rough quarterback remains to be seen.

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3 comments
Neil's ghost
Neil's ghost

Why does Ross' clueless face look like a puckered asshole?

Neil's ghost
Neil's ghost

Holy shit! In a moment of sobriety, Jeff the drunk Ireland became a master of the obvious!

Tengogatas
Tengogatas

Hey Jeff!!!  What the Dolphins need is nothing but a new General Manager....

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