Strippers Skrawberry and Tip Drill Analyze the Florida Republican Primary

Categories: Flotsam, Politicks
skrawandtip.jpg
Early morning yesterday, Miami super-strippers Skrawberry (left) and Tip Drill vaulted to the top of the political punditry heap when they crashed a South Beach filming of Morning Joe. With the Florida primary vote going down today, we caught up with these acrobatic pole-dancing Howard Zinns for their take on the action.

Before we get started, we incorrectly stated in the previous story that both girls work at King of Diamonds. Tip Drill does, but Skrawberry dances at G5ive. "I can't go in King of Diamonds," says Skrawberry. Why? "Because my life is interesting."

Oh, also worth mentioning: They're looking for a reality television deal.

New Times: Before we get into politics, what exactly is a "Skrawberry"?
Skrawberry: The way I started stripping was I used to just go to a club and get naked. But my real name is Jennifer, and I knew I couldn't use that. "Skrawberry" was kind of a joke at first. You know urban people-- ignorant urban people-- say "skraw" instead of straw. But then it just stuck: "Skrawberry".

[Tip Drill enters line.]

Skrawberry: He was just asking me how I got the name Skrawberry.

Tip Drill: Did you tell him?

Skrawberry: Yeah, going into clubs and taking my clothes off.

What do you guys think of Rick Santorum?

[A second of silence, and then extended laughter.]

Skrawberry: We think Obama should win.

Tip Drill: I'm going to look that guy up though. What'd you say his name was?

Santorum.

[We then spelled out the name as Tip Drill took it down, almost certainly ensuring that once she Googles it she will never speak to us again.]

You're both probably in pretty high tax brackets...

Skrawberry: That's why nobody likes us. We're like Mary Kate and Ashley. But without the drugs.

And naked all the time?

Skrawberry: Mary Kate and Ashley get naked.

True. So as members of a high tax bracket, what do you think about being asked to share the wealth?

Skrawberry: We're strippers. We believe in cash. We only pay taxes on clothes and condoms, and food. We don't pay taxes. [Eds. note: They were probably joking, IRS.]

What governmental policies do you care about?

Skrawberry: I want you to be able to get jobs if you're a convicted felon. You can't make any money if you have a prior felony. Convicted felons can't vote. I don't think that's fucking right. And the price of everything is going up. Inflation, you know-- living expenses is going through the roof. They're building a casino downtown. They're going to make the cost of living go up. Make sure everybody's eating before you build a fucking casino downtown.

Tip Drill, what are you passionate about?

Tip Drill: I just want to see the middle-class people do good.

Skrawberry: We also need health care. We can't pay no doctor bills.

Do you guys receive medical benefits?

Skrawberry: Nope. We do everything cash... And teachers need to get paid more. They ain't paying teachers well, so teachers don't care and they ain't teaching right. I mean, football players get paid more than teachers.

You get paid more than teachers.

I get paid more than most doctors too.


We then sent Skrawberry photos of each of the remaining Republican candidates. "They look like a bunch of sneaky old perverts!" she wrote back.

Here are her text messaged impressions of each of them:

Rick Santorum looks like he cheat and beat on his wife he looks as if he up to no good

Newt Gingrish look like a hackler. He looks like he get on people's nerves just for the fuck of it. If he had any power his theme would be "off with their heads"

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Mitt Romney looks like he'd be better of staring in a movie as a presidential candidate and lose... then get mad and try to destroy the winner

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Ron Paul is too damn OLD!!!! He probably got grandkids running against him. Ron Paul is too damn old and probably take too many pills for his heart and blood pressure!!! He's like 93 years old

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Kickoff Otown
Kickoff Otown

All Star WeekEnd ((((( TipDrill and SkrawBerry -VS- GiGi and Jasmine ))))) Sunday Night ((( Cleo's ))) 1310 S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, Fla 32805February 26 2012 . Follow me on twitter @Kickoff407

Kickoff Otown
Kickoff Otown

All Star WeekEnd ((((( TipDrill and StrawBerry -VS- GiGi and Jasmine ))))) Sunday Night ((( Cleo's ))) 1310S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, Fla 32805February 26 2012 . Follow me on twitter @Kickoff407

Kickoff Otown
Kickoff Otown

All Star WeekEnd ((((( TipDrill and StrawBerry -VS- GiGi and Jasmine ))))) Sunday Night ((( Cleo's ))) 1310S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, Fla 32805February 26 2012 . Follow me on twitter @Kickoff407

Kickoff Otown
Kickoff Otown

All Star WeekEnd ((((( TipDrill and StrawBerry -VS- GiGi and Jasmine ))))) Sunday Night ((( Cleo's ))) 1310S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, Fla 32805February 26 2012 . Follow me on twitter @Kickoff407 

Kickoff Otown
Kickoff Otown

All Star WeekEnd ((((( TipDrill and StrawBerry -VS- GiGi and Jasmine ))))) Sunday Night ((( Cleo's ))) 1310S. Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, Fla 32805February 26 2012 . Follow me on twitter @Kickoff407

Chasidygarry
Chasidygarry

Damn they got an opinion and they spoke it! All the people doing the hate comments shame on you! ESPECIALLY the females! Y'all probably seen they pics body all nice and toned AND found out they strippers and the hate poured in!!!!! Just like females smdh! So hilarious

yo momma
yo momma

Skrawberry and Drill tip for pres...I really hope Skrawberry takes time to google santorum and see what his name means, courtesy Dan Savage...anal froth being a brief definition.

Eva
Eva

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laughing_@u
laughing_@u

In 10 yrs ur opinion may b these two may b nothing, which is false. The sad part about it is today u r nothing. These two r being featured n known getting $$. U r just an average fan making a comment. Who r u? Dnt down play them because of their occupation. Doesn't make any of u any better than. Laugh a lil....

Ricky Wahoo
Ricky Wahoo

Y'all are much to serious. Relax and enjoy the entertainment. They are as funny as they are erotic. They are homo sapiens and living in the USA and have an opinion. So......... 

ElRonbo
ElRonbo

Gus, about this item on your expense report: $300 for an "interview dance"? 

Robert Finne
Robert Finne

These girls probably have great insight into these men having met and performed for thousands just like them. They nailed Gingrich perfectly and I wouldn't doubt Santorum does beat on his wife from time to time. Those whacko fundies believe the Bible tells them its OK in certain situations. !

AssDontHoldUp
AssDontHoldUp

These two will be homeless in 10 years. 

TROUBLE3O5
TROUBLE3O5

i highly doubt that go google gucci mane or lil wayne @ king of diamonds on youtube and see the money they make it 1 night...and they seem conscious enough to keep some of it for the future

Crismelloni23
Crismelloni23

Is interviewing strippers about the republican primaries officially considered as dumb as planking or have we reached a whole new level of ignorance?

Bebep
Bebep

I'M RAGING MAD AT THIS ARTICLE!!! I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!!!

RAAWWRRRRRRRR!!!!

Bomb1200
Bomb1200

More pics of Chyna & RashBerry please!!! Man, Uncle Al  would be proud of his lil' neices.....More $$ than most doctors....puhahahaha, you see, Obamacare IS working....Oh yeah, one last thing... I am the Strip club DJ and trust me, they pay taxes ;)

Geo
Geo

Can we get these girls elected to local office? Breath of fresh air I say.

SEE YAA
SEE YAA

Good article Gus. Had me laughing.

bigriggs
bigriggs

Way to keep the lowest of standards.........

Nickie S
Nickie S

Isnt there like real issues to talk about rather than the opinion of two hoes?!

Tiffanijones357
Tiffanijones357

These women are NOT A representation of women at all. They're ignorant and proud of him. They're lost. God help them

Nk Little
Nk Little

What makes them less intelligent? Is it because of their occupation? Who are we to judge? They have a voice just like you! People kill me, you don't know why they choose to strip, but that has nothing to do with their opinion on these ass hole Republicans!!!!

Belladhanna
Belladhanna

The comments about the pictures...LMAO! That was hilarious. Now of course I will never be able to look at them without thinking of these little blurbs and laughing.

They have a right to their opinion.

TREY O FIVE
TREY O FIVE

Stop giving these slut buckets a platform for their ignorance!!

Phillip
Phillip

These two girls together have more brains than the entire tea hobbit movement. By the way, this is America and everybody has a right to voice their opinion and get involved in the political process.

Blackpanther
Blackpanther

These ladies have more insight into the Republican nominees than your dumb "trey-O-five" ass could ever have.

GusGarciaRoberts
GusGarciaRoberts

You just used the term "slut bucket". You better not be over 12 years old.

Paulkemp
Paulkemp

you just interviewed strippers about the republican primaries.. are u...16??? "hey i have a great idea for an article..." 

ron paul is the truth and you faggots need to spot lights on dat nigga

.
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Yeah, man! Keep up the hard work interviewing hookers! Miami what!

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