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Florida Drunk Driver Wearing a Butt Plug Rear Ends Car

Categories: WTF Florida
brannbutt.jpg
Kevin Brann had already rear ended himself on Friday night before rear ending another car in Martin County.

Yes, after Brann was arrested for drunk driving, deputies discovered that a butt plug had fallen out onto the floor of the backseat of their patrol car.

According to the Off the Beat blog, deputies arrived to a crash scene at about 11:20 p.m. on February 24th. Brann's eyes were bloodshot, his speech blurry, and his balance unstable. He failed to perform several field sobriety tests, and the deputy realized that he had already peed himself. He'd soil himself once more on the way to jail.

But deputies also found Brann's butt plug.

"The defendant had a sexual anus plug in his rectum, which he removed, or fell out in rear of my patrol car. (placed in defendants property)," reads the arrest report.

Sexual anus plug in his rectum, huh? Is that the legal term for butt plug? We can only imagine the following discussion took place:

Officer #1: So, do I just write "butt plug" in the police report?
Officer #2: No, no, you've got to be professional about these things. Write something official sounding like "sexual anus plug in his rectum."
Officer #1: But wait, if its an anus plug wouldn't I write that its in his anus and not his rectum? What's the difference between an anus and a rectum?
Officer #2: Do you really think I want to be having this discussion right now?
Officer #1: Hey, there's nothing wrong with learning about new things.
Once at jail, Brann's blood alcohol level was measured at .409 and .412. The legal limit is 0.08, meaning that Brann was about five times over the legal limit.

Brann sounds like he has a few problems, but at least he wasn't arrested for robbery and given the nickname the "butt plug bandit."

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10 comments
preachy
preachy

Wonder if this guy is related to Michael Kenyon.  Where is Frank Zappa when you most need him???

jmw turner
jmw turner

Florida just makes it too easy- holy-eff-balls

Designsbyfire
Designsbyfire

Laugh now but dude has the Dahmer defense. I didn't know it was in there & I was drugged. if that's true. Wow, I'm sorry Man if, that's fucked up

aww
aww

That's the end of his reputation...no pun intended.

Cll_629
Cll_629

lol, my exhusband was the arresting officer.

Decent American
Decent American

Knowing Florida cops I am willing to bet that "anus plug" was left in the back seat by the officer working the prior shift.

Freestlz
Freestlz

This guy used to work for us...he seemed like a normal guy....

What people do in their private lives...smh

Gunpowder Jones
Gunpowder Jones

Ya I'll plug ya anus too, yo girl I plug mad anuses that's like what I do, yo playas be callin me the anus plugga

Pipiloco
Pipiloco

definitely a faggot. if u want a reall nigga hala at ya boy. I dont do anal plugs but i will plug ya anus ;)

Silo44
Silo44

Cacanero. Mustard boy.

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