Traffic Apocalypse: Obama, Jeremy Lin and Emeril Will Destroy Your Commute Today

By Kyle Munzenrieder Thu., Feb. 23 2012 at 9:31 AM

Miami loves its bold faced names almost as much as it hates its traffic, and today the sheer amount of star power in town may very well overwhelm our roadways. Not only is the leader of the free world making a visit to Coral Gables today, but Linsanity comes to downtown while the South Beach Food and Wine Festival kicks off in South Beach. Drivers beware.

Miami is not new to presidential visits, so hopefully we don't have to remind you that the POTUS's motorcade has a habit of snarling traffic. Here's President Obama's schedule today to give you an idea of what areas to avoid and when:

1:25 p.m. - Arrives at Miami International Airport
1:45 p.m. - Arrives on the University of Miami's Coral Gables campus
4:20 p.m. - Arrives at the Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables for a fundraiser
Unspecified Time - Arrives at a private home in the Pinecrest area for another fundraiser
7 p.m. Departs from M.I.A.

Just as President Obama is leaving, Linsanity officially makes its debut in downtown Miami as our Miami Heat take on the New York Knicks. Of course, Heat game traffic is fairly regular in Miami, but in addition to Linsanity there's another hitch: right next door to the arena the equine stars of the Cavalia show are expected to arrive this afternoon at Bicentennial Park. Expect road blocks along Biscayne.

Finally, the South Beach Wine & Food Festival kicks off tonight in Miami Beach. There's a small event at the Delano with Emeril Lagasse and Guy Fieri at 7 p.m. The traffic shouldn't be as bad as when the full event swings into action this weekend, but don't expect traffic around 17th and Collins Avenue to move as smooth as Paula Deen's butter.

Hopefully you don't work in Coral Gables, live in South Beach, and have dinner reservations downtown tonight. And if you do, well, learn some behind-the-wheel stress management techniques now.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

Tags:

Linsanity, President Obama, South Beach Wine & Food

We Recommend

Robert B. Singleton

As if all this wasn't bad enough, that god-forsaken International Boat Show has had traffic tied up on the beach all week.

Go Home Carpetbagger...!!

Nobama 2012!! Send the carpetbaggin' Kenyan muslim back to his shithole in Chicago, he's got plenty of gay lovers still there... GOOGLE:Mom of Murdered Gay Obama Lover speaks Up

GoBama

Wow, you sound even dumber than the average Obama hating retard.

NOBAMA 2012!!

Another dumb ass who voted for the racist president, keep drinking your kool-aid and shuffle along with all the other sheeple waiting for orders from your master...It's a shame how so many idiots can't or won't think for themselves in America anymore, just follow along like the morons that you are, it would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic...

Guesteo

Guy, your views might actually be interesting (whatever they may be) if you attempted to talk like a civilized person.

Go Home Carpetbagger...

Never met you in my life, asshole...!! The KKK sucks, don't even go there my simple minded friend. Just because I and millions of others don't agree with the Liar-in-Chief who resides at the White House, we're racists...?!! STFU you dolt, you sound like one of the common sheeple! Come November, you and the rest of the country are in for a life changing event, you won't give a shit who gets elected, believe me...BTW, Bush(father, son, family) are not friends of the U.S.A., they are just as bad as Odingo. There's a lot of research in your future if you're even remotely interested in the future. Better hurry though, not much time left...

Rubio2012

Hey, Go Home Carpetbagger, man, it's nice to see you 'round these parts. We met at that Ku Klux meeting this month. I like your views, I take it you vote independent? you can't be serious if you tell me that Santorum or Romney are our way out. Come on man, don't let me down. Tell me what the alternative is. At least Bush looked the part when I voted for him.