Florida Woman Hides Bottle of Urine in Her Lady Parts to Pass Drug Test, Fails Miserably

Categories: WTF Florida
salzgeber.jpg
Mishelle Salzgeber, a 20-year-old resident of Dade City, was booked into a New Port Richey jail after failing a drug test and violating her probation. During an x-ray scan, jail personnel detected a bottle hidden inside Salzgeber's vagina and uncovered her plan to cheat on a drug test.

According to WTSP, Salzgeber's plan to cheat entailed filling a small vodka bottle with someone else's urine and, well, sticking it inside herself.

Shoving a bottle of someone else's urine into your neener could be considered worth it only if that urine were actually clean. It turns out the urine in the bottle came from someone who wasn't so drug-free and still tested positive.

Unfortunately for Salzgeber, not only was she booked for testing positive for drugs, but also she now faces consequences for trying to cheat on the drug test. That, and the fact that now everyone knows she had a bottle of someone else's urine all up inside her.

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20 comments
reyderoma
reyderoma

Why couldn't the nitwit take a condom and fill it?...do they TSA you before you go in the bath room to tinkle your sample?

Reappkeeper
Reappkeeper

stupid cunts!! how dare you! she and alot of stupid men are addicts and arent in their right minds, think they can fool everyone. I am an addict, and found recovery, after being arrested. My life was saved by that arrest, Never, have i been called a cunt, let alone a stupid one, asshole

Bruce Edmund Carroll
Bruce Edmund Carroll

it seems every month we see stories about stupid cunts like her using the purse that you can't snatch to smuggle in drugs and contraband. your cuca is not meant to be used to smuggle contraband, its meant to be used for sex and childbirth.

Drake Mallard
Drake Mallard

 The IQ and life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the opposite direction.

CAMSHEEL
CAMSHEEL

What. A dip shit. RealYlFW: POD - Are We Really That Old?

Patricia Nelson Miller
Patricia Nelson Miller

What is the name of the condition that describes ignorant people who don't realize they're ignorant? The Dunning-Kruger effect is this in a nutshell...er, urine bottle in the hoo-ha.

Noemail
Noemail

meth alert... its written all over her face.

Vero
Vero

by all the scabs on her face i'd say she's on probation for Meth. 

seep
seep

You shove the urine container into an orifice in order to get it to heat it to body temperature.  Otherwise the specimen won't be accepted.

nanook5
nanook5

what on earth was the point of testing the urine in that bottle...................................?

David
David

Winning!!

I predict a future Darwin Award nominee. 

Bruce Edmund Carroll
Bruce Edmund Carroll

the key pharase you missed was "using the purse that you can't snatch" it refers to all women's vagina, not the men's penises. you can't fit a bottle of urine in your cock. only women have the purse that you can't snatch. its obvious you fell off the wagon. did you really think that men could give birth though their cocks? be careful what you say asshole cuz you are the dumb one.

reyderoma
reyderoma

       have mercy on these children of God....think of them as one of your own.

seep
seep

They didn't find the urine inside the bottle.  She used the urine for the test and then hid the empty bottle back inside herself.

Daniel Giannuzzi
Daniel Giannuzzi

but a man can fit it in his booty hole.  Which is basically a man-gina

Bruce Edmund Carroll
Bruce Edmund Carroll

so if a man's asshole is just like a vagina, then why do women have asshole too? but yeah, a man can fit a bottle up his ass provided he got a big asshole.

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