Marlins President David Samson is Going to Run 50 Miles Because He Can

David Samson anxiously waits to catch something in his mouth.
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We're sure they're thrilled. Who wouldn't want to root for the guy who smugly snookered Miami-Dade and Miami officials into building his ex-step-daddy's baseball palace with more than half-a-billion in taxpayer dollars?

Sure he thinks the rest of us poor mopes are all a bunch of sad sacks who are no where near his one percent on the intelligence and and filthy rich scale. But, gosh darn it, Samson can run like the dickens! And he's doing it for charity too! Hooray for Samson!

In case you didn't know, Samson is an avid runner, participating several times in the New York and Boston marathons. In 2006, he competed in the Ford Ironman World Championship in Hawaii, which included swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles, and running 26.2 miles. This past January, Samson and two other Marlins executives ran "Goofy's Race and Half Challenge" in Walt Disney World in Orlando, which consisting of running a half-marathon on a Saturday and then a full marathon on a Sunday.

The impish baseball executive is an unstoppable force. He squeezes in his training schedule before and after his duties as the Marlins' head hatchet man. South Florida Adventures provided a glimpse into Samson's regimen back when he competed in the 2006 Ironman meet:
Each week he does 10 to 12 workout sessions: two running, two biking, swimming, two weightlifting, then there's a brick (a type of Ironman workout that leaves your legs feeling like a brick).

"That's when you do a bike then a run, and then a brick with a swimming then a run."
The secret to Samson's training? Pretending he's a simpleton, which must be really hard for a guy who grew up with Jeffrey Loria, a man who taught Samson the art of being a pompous dick.
"The key to Ironman is you have to be Forrest Gump, you have to keep going. And to do that you have to have your heartbeats under control."
But Samson won't be alone on April 28. He'll be joined by 17 other runners including Marlins former lobbyist Javier Soto, Marlins former first baseman Jeff Conine, and team president of baseball operations Larry Beinfest.

Here's a map in case anyone wants to show up along the route and throw tomatoes at him:

Run for the Workers Map

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$3 Bil diverted
$3 Bil diverted

Samson is a rude midget. He and Loria stole over $3 BILLION from Miami-Dade county taxpayers. Stupid elected officials made it easy. Bruno the Dumb and corrupted Marc Sarnoff gave away the taxpayers $.

Jane W
Jane W

any kind of luck, Samson will get squashed by a Semi

Neil's ghost
Neil's ghost

Samson equals Napolean syndrome. I hope he runs fifty miles into the ocean and keeps going.

Drake Mallard
Drake Mallard

 Every year, millions of taxpayer dollars are poured into stadiums,
hockey rinks, baseball parks, and other arenas in order to attract and retain 
professional sports teams in big cities. Often the money isspent by 
the cities after a team "threatens" to leave the city.When that happens, of course, the local news media act as thewilling 
accomplices of the billionaires who own the teams.When city andstate governments build facilities for sports organizations which areowned by billionaires, and raise taxes as a result, it is clearly anabuse of power. 

"it time for more recalls and jail time ™

what a waste of payer money again

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