Panthers in the Playoffs: A Florida Native's Made-Up Guide to Hockey Terms

Did you guys hear the Florida Panthers are in the Stanley Cup Playoffs? You guys heard of the Florida Panthers? You guys even heard of hockey?

No? Well, great, this guide is for you. Being native Floridians we're glad that our team has finally broken their playoff slump. We'd like to send them positive vibes as they start their first playoff journey in more than ten years tonight. Being native Floridians, however, we don't know anything about hockey. So we've decided to educate ourselves in the worst way possible.

We put "Hockey terms" into Google and found this Wikipedia article entitled "Glossary of ice hockey terms." We sent it to a friend and had him quiz us on meaning of the terms. Some of them we knew, but some of them we were totally off base on.

So we've gone ahead and posted our worst answers, and included the real definitions. Hopefully this will help you understand this weird Canadian ice game.

Dump and Chase
It's like that thing where you're sitting on the toilet and then all the sudden see a cockroach crawling around your bathroom and you grab the can of Raid?
An offensive strategy used to get the puck over the opposing team's blue line and into the corners where players can race to get it, thereby moving the play into the attacking zone.

Crashing the net
When you're trying to watch hockey games online and your Internet service provider craps out.
Players head with full steam to the front of the net, into the goalie's space and/or straight into the goalie.

Split the D
Sounds painful. Like, really, really painful.
When an offensive player confuses or out maneuvers two defensemen in order to get between them.

Icing
Wait, is there cake involved in hockey? No one told me this. I am about to become the biggest hockey fan ever.
Icing occurs when a player shoots the puck across both the center red line and the opposing team's goal line without the puck going into the net or being able to be touched by an opposing player in their neutral or defensive zones.