Surfside Election: My Campaign Hits the Streets

Categories: Politicks

ggrcampaigning.jpg
In my quest to become the commissioner of Surfside--the beach hamlet just south of the haughty nihilist province known as Bal Harbour-- I've run into a problem: A lot of the older residents don't want to open the door for me. Maybe it's only because I'm a relatively young man. Maybe it's the sparse creepiness of my election beard. My solution: Carry an oversized check and balloons, sweepstakes style.

It worked. Everybody opened their doors for me on Friday-- except for my opponent Michelle Kligman, who I hoped to challenge to a debate. In a long afternoon of campaigning, I interviewed a tiny dog. A barber offered his vote if I got a haircut. (I turned him down, people.) And I walked out of the ocean completely dry.

Campaign videographer Jacob Katel caught the entire spectacle. Remember, Surfside residents: vote May 1. Vote for awesomeness.

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19 comments
Gail
Gail

New Times is becoming less credible by the moment....

Jahnfly
Jahnfly

Many hold the belief that there is no lower low life than the "average" self serving politician but they are wrong.  There is.  His name is  Geoffrey "Gus" Garcia  Garcia-Roberts.  If this guys comes to interview you let this charade of his be warning.  Everything he writes is suspect.

Lynn and Roger
Lynn and Roger

Thank you Gus!   You have helped us more than you know.

Gail
Gail

You are a total moron and costing the taxpayers thousands of dollars with your nonsense. You are making a mockery of the seniors and other residents of Surfside.

Sdmarmol
Sdmarmol

"Kligman, come on!" I think we have our first campaign slogan/bumper sticker.

Jahnfly
Jahnfly

What is obvious is this Clown is praying he loses this election.   Expect a " playful, zany, satirical and creative" article about  the "Graveyard" constituency of Surfside when the election is over. 

J.J. Colagrande
J.J. Colagrande

Everything he writes IS NOT suspect...

GGR's campaign may be quirky, but as a [talented] staff writer for NT he's well-informed, intelligent, hard-working, underpaid, and just crazy enough to care...

Surfside would be well-served by his voice on their commission...

SEE YAA
SEE YAA

Shut the fuk up.

Good stuff, Gus. lol

Tr001
Tr001

Democracy is free dumass, wat r u a communist? Political mockeries are as American as Thomas Paine, or do u lack the Common Sense to see that

GusGarciaRoberts
GusGarciaRoberts

You gotta know I was mocking my own creepy face and not seniors.

Gail
Gail

What is his agenda? Besides making all the Surfside police his bitches and legalizing marijuana?

Jahnfly
Jahnfly

Served how?  By his making a mockery and poking fun at people?  While he denies it he ridicules the elderly who feel disenfranchised as it is.    That lady he shows in his video actually signed his petition to run!  How insulting and disengenuous.  

Gail
Gail

Smoke another bowl.

Gail
Gail

This election costs the taxpayers $15,000, so apparently democracy comes at a price, DUMBASS.

Jahnfly
Jahnfly

He has told us.  It's about dry humping Bal Harbours entrance feature and  exposing the elderly and the Kligmans  as being old and according to him "cowardly" for not answering the door.

J.J. Colagrande
J.J. Colagrande

 Ask him about his agenda, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell you...

Gail
Gail

I get it. He's intellectual and funny, but he is going about it in the wrong way. "Dare it be said" Go New Times, well-informed staff, go!!  You are helping further this mockery for a campaign. KUDOS!!

J.J. Colagrande
J.J. Colagrande

You're misunderstanding the playful, zany, satirical and creative nature of the video, which is understandable and fair; what you see as mockery & disingenuous others may see as fresh, spirited, and dare it be said--fun.

You have to think about how much info NT staff writers have access to. They are extremely well-informed, pro-active, intelligent, progressive--you may not like it, but that's EXACTLY how Surfside will be served, son.

SEE YAA
SEE YAA

I don't "smoke", but maybe you should. You sound like an uptight beotch.

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