CSI: Miami is Dead, But Here Are Ten Other Shows That Need Miami Spinoffs
Categories: Flotsam
Niñas
After the massive critical outpouring attacking HBO's Girls for being too white, the pay channel decides to do damage control with a complete revamp for season two. Lena Durham's character Hannah Horvath admits defeat and realizes she can no longer afford to live in the Big Apple. So she decamps to Miami where she makes friends with the femme fatale daughter of a Haitian power developer, a shy, Jewban University of Miami student and a Colombian American princess. Durham is actually the only non-Hispanic white actor featured in the entire season. There will be at least one episode centering on how uncircumcised men sort of freak her character out.
Parks and Recreation: Hialeah
While the original Parks and Rec centers on Leslie Knope, a noble, low-level city official who gives us all hope that not every bureaucrat is evil and incompetent. Parks and Rec: Hialeah would be the exact opposite. The parks official rises her way to the top by embezzling government money, blaming the poor quality of local parks on some vast communist conspiracy and not her own lax work ethic, and eventually gets appointed to a vacant spot on the city council by sleeping with the mayor. It's local government, Hialeah style.
Mad Men: Miami
Oh, wait. Someone already made this show. It's called Magic City.
Chisme Girl
We don't really have much of a joke here. We just honestly would like to see a Gossip Girl show set in Miami. Just a bunch of Carrollton girls and Belen Jesuit boys partying at LIV and sleeping with each other boyfriends. You'd at least watch for the first season and a half. Admit it.
Cheers: South Beach
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your ...Wait, wait, what did you say your name is?
I can't find it on the list.
Who did you say you talked to?
Yeah, he's here, but if you're not on the list I can't let you it.
If you want to try and text him he can walk you in, but I can't let you in if your name's not on the list.
I mean, I do have bottles available.
It's 400 for Grey Goose.
OK, well you can wait, but I'm gonna have to ask you to step back. I've got a lot of people trying to get in tonight.
Don't give me attitude, bro.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
After the massive critical outpouring attacking HBO's Girls for being too white, the pay channel decides to do damage control with a complete revamp for season two. Lena Durham's character Hannah Horvath admits defeat and realizes she can no longer afford to live in the Big Apple. So she decamps to Miami where she makes friends with the femme fatale daughter of a Haitian power developer, a shy, Jewban University of Miami student and a Colombian American princess. Durham is actually the only non-Hispanic white actor featured in the entire season. There will be at least one episode centering on how uncircumcised men sort of freak her character out.
Parks and Recreation: Hialeah
While the original Parks and Rec centers on Leslie Knope, a noble, low-level city official who gives us all hope that not every bureaucrat is evil and incompetent. Parks and Rec: Hialeah would be the exact opposite. The parks official rises her way to the top by embezzling government money, blaming the poor quality of local parks on some vast communist conspiracy and not her own lax work ethic, and eventually gets appointed to a vacant spot on the city council by sleeping with the mayor. It's local government, Hialeah style.
Mad Men: Miami
Oh, wait. Someone already made this show. It's called Magic City.
Chisme Girl
We don't really have much of a joke here. We just honestly would like to see a Gossip Girl show set in Miami. Just a bunch of Carrollton girls and Belen Jesuit boys partying at LIV and sleeping with each other boyfriends. You'd at least watch for the first season and a half. Admit it.
Cheers: South Beach
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your ...Wait, wait, what did you say your name is?
I can't find it on the list.
Who did you say you talked to?
Yeah, he's here, but if you're not on the list I can't let you it.
If you want to try and text him he can walk you in, but I can't let you in if your name's not on the list.
I mean, I do have bottles available.
It's 400 for Grey Goose.
OK, well you can wait, but I'm gonna have to ask you to step back. I've got a lot of people trying to get in tonight.
Don't give me attitude, bro.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
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