Mugshots Friday: Hot Beefcake Edition

Categories: Mugshots Friday
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Mugshots Friday is often accused of featuring plenty of hottttttt chicks (seven "T"s, industry standard) but not enough hottttttt dudes. It's your week, ladies. Straight men, you might as well click out of your browser right now. To qualify for this special Beefcake Edition MF, our steamy perps had to a) have Jesus hair b) be naked c) be looking especially GQ or d) just have that certain je ne sais quoi to make our readers throw their panties at the computer screen. Take it away studs!

Arrested: 5/1
Charged with: Strongarm robbery, battery, liking to rescue animals too much
"I'm your starter beefcake. Let me set the music to 'sultry'. Anybody in the mood for some nag champa? I was just pouring myself a glass."

Arrested: 5/1
Charged with: Inciting a riot (in your pants)
"I'm 99-percent certain that you're the one for me. Girl, I want to occupy you."

Arrested: 4/28
Charged with: Disorderly conduct, breach of the peace, making a sinful asparagus souffle
"Hey, have you seen my shirt? It blew off with that strong gust. Why yes, I do practice 'muscle confusion' workouts, why do you ask?"

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Beefcake?!? Maybe if you're blind (or blind drunk). Ewww.

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