There Is Nothing Cool About Karl Rove and Mitt Romney

Categories: Luke's Gospel
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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says Mitt Romney and Karl Rove are a couple of uncool tools.

Karl Rove's super PAC, American Crossroads, has issued a 46-second political ad attacking President Barack Obama for being too cool. This is a sneaky way of saying the commander in chief is too black to be in charge. The offensive spot, endorsed by Republican Party candidate Mitt Romney, employs a slow R&B beat and a deep baritone voiceover saying, "Ooooh, yeeaah." It's followed by a montage of Obama dancing with Ellen Degeneres, slow-jamming the news with the Roots on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, calling Kanye West a jackass, and singing an Al Green tune. "Four years ago, America elected the biggest celebrity in the world," the narrator intones, "and America got one cool president."

It's a subliminal message calling Obama a jive turkey.

There is nothing wrong with the leader of the free world being a smooth operator. The public wants a president who invites Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and their United Nations of kids to spend a weekend at the White House. The people like a president who is down with Jay-Z and who can calmly off Osama bin Laden when he gets the chance.

Ronald Reagan was a cool cat, even when he was getting grilled during the Iran-Contra scandal. But you don't hear Romney or Rove talking shit about the Gipper's Hollywood swagger when he was in the White House. The ad concludes that "after four years of a celebrity president, one in two recent college grads are jobless or unemployed, 85 percent are moving back in with their parents, and student loan debt exceeds $1 trillion."

Romney and Rove have some nerve thinking Obama's coolness will alienate young voters. They get excited about Obama because he is not some stuck-up corporate-raider-turned-career-politician. In fact, not too many Americans can relate to a rich white guy with a Swiss bank account.

Romney accuses Obama of being an elitist celebrity, but I bet he couldn't name three of the biggest rappers without Googling them. That's how you know who is the true elitist. Romney is so out of touch that even die-hard Tea Party members don't want to vote for him.

Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.

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Harvey Lain
Harvey Lain

I couldn't name three of the top rappers without googling them either. So what? What the hell does that have to do with being able to run the country? I'm white but I couldn't tell you who the top three Country or Rock artists are right now either. Why? Because the entertainment industry is secondary to anyone with any sense or education who is not directly involved. If you think ANY of those people care about us one iota, you're nuts!

Big_ron
Big_ron

I can name 3.. Biggie.. 2Pac.. Jay-Z.. I can name A LOT more. But you only said 3. I agree with the celebrity comment. Why is that whenever there is a criticism of Obama its automatically because you're racist. Why doesn't anyone ever look at the actual arguement? I'm tired of that crap. I remember the media giving Bush crap for golfing and it turns out our Prez is even worse. He needs to stop trying to get TV time and focus on the job we're paying him to do. I think he's been hands down THE worst president. We haven't had a good president since Reagan and I don't see it getting any better no matter what party. Its sad I have to for the lesser of two evils instead of for someone now. And for me that's Romney. At least he take a slower approach to bring us down the crapper until a legitimate leader comes forward.

Sir Sausage
Sir Sausage

He IS a celebrity president.  Oops, I just said that.  Am I a racist?

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