Charlie Crist is a Drunk, Closeted Homosexual, According to Porky Pig

Categories: Politicks
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We're not sure whether former Gov. Charlie Crist is actually a rampant drunk and closeted homosexual, but we do know that former Republican Party of Florida chairman Jim Greer is a desperate, desperate man. Greer is currently awaiting trial for allegedly misappropriate party money. Crist is not cooperating with the defense. So, Greer's lawyers have decided to publicly air accusations that Crist had gay affairs, tried to run over people while drunk driving a golf cart, and once tried to kiss Greer himself.

Crist and Greer go way back, and Greer was Crist's handpicked choice to lead the RPOF once he became governor in 2006. Back in 2010, Greer was arrested on six felony accounts. It's alleged he used a fundraising company, Victory Strategies LLC, to divert about $100,000 from the RPOF into his own pockets.

Crist denies he had any knowledge of this happening, so Greer's lawyer, Damon Chase, leaked the following allegations to a Tampa news station:

  • Crist paid two men he had gay relationships with to leave the state.
  • Crist once tried to kiss Greer at a Beverly Hill Hotel
  • Crist was a big drunk who had his security detail cover up embarrassing episodes while he was governor.
  • He once tried to run over people while drunk driving a golf cart.

Chase informed Crist's lawyer, John Morgan, that he would bring up the allegations unless Crist agreed to change his testimony. Morgan replied that the allegations were false, and in particular took issue with the charge that Crist tried to kiss Greer. He wrote that Crist would be a "sick s.o.b. to try to kiss Porky the Pig."

It is well known in political circles that Greer is fat.

Crist himself has denied the charges and has since filed witness tampering charges.

Are they allegations true? Are they false? Who knows! They are coming from one of Crist's former close political allies. Though, that ally is now in a desperate fight to avoid jail time.

Whatever the case, this is just a reminder that Crist's political career may be dead. Yes, there's talk he could run as a Democrat for governor in 2014, but don't you think his former colleagues in the GOP have tons of dirty laundry they'd just love to air about Crist if he took on Rick Scott?

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4 comments
Art
Art

Charlie is a clown. I hope his career as a politician is over. We don't need slimeballs like him in leadership positions.

Decent American
Decent American

I never pegged Christ as a "Chubby Chaser" but then again I never figured George Reckers needed any help lifting his luggage either. I wonder if Christ ever hit on former State Senator Robert Allen? 

JailBait
JailBait

Jim Greer is a douche, hopefully he's rotting in jail VERY SOON.

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