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Five Good Reasons to Hate the Oklahoma City Thunder

Categories: Sports
fuck the thunder.jpg
Last year, we made some rather foolhardy predictions about the NBA finals and ended up with a tattoo of Jason Terry indelibly inked on our pale white ass. So this year, we are avoiding any claims of clairvoyance and appealing to a baser emotion: pure, unbridled hatred.

Yes, the Miami Heat are the most despised sports team since the 1986 Hurricanes. And yes, the "Imperial March" song from Star Wars does follow Pat Reilly wherever he goes. But the truth is, the team America should really hate isn't the Heat. It's the Oklahoma City Thunder. Here are five damn good reasons why.

5. Remember Seattle?
Everybody keeps talking about how smart the Oklahoma City Thunder has been; how the club supposedly did things the hard way by drafting its superstars instead of buying them like the Miami Heat. But as sportswriter Dave Zirin points out, that's a load of crap. Because the Thunder didn't draft Kevin Durant or Russell Westbrook: the Seattle Supersonics did. And when The Big Grunge balked on paying for a new, totally unnecessary $300 million stadium, Supersonics owners Clay Bennett and Aubrey McClendon moved the team to the midwest (with a little help from NBA commissioner David Stern).

Claims that the team was "meticulously and honestly assembled" are only half right. Meticulously? Sure. Honestly? No way. For a year, Bennett and McClendon made promises to keep the team in Seattle. Then, in August of 2007, McClendon let the truth slip, telling reporters: "We didn't buy the team to keep it in Seattle." Bennett denied it but, three months later, the move was announced.

Lamb testicles.jpg
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Lamb fries, not to be confused with lamb and fries
4. Lamb Testicles
Before moving the team, Bennett brought the Sonics management to Oklahoma for a dinner. The executives dug into heaping plates of fried appetizers. When one of them finally asked the waitress what they were devouring, she told them it was lamb testicles. As everyone at the table choked with disgust, Clay Bennett just laughed his ass off.

Say what you will of Heat owner Micky Arison, but not even he would feed livestock balls to his employees. That is some Hannibal Lector shit.


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17 comments
obamas
obamas

How are these valid reasons? They have nothing to do with the team itself....

Get a life, instead of nitpicking stuff that doesn't even have to do with the team

Lance4osu
Lance4osu

This article is a waste of time in every way possible. Frankly though, to put Westbrook as your # 1 reason for hating the Thunder absolutely discredits the author and the effect is lost.

Guest
Guest

you may want to go look at the Tubes of You because there is lots of video of Durant playing his first season is Seattle up there.

Craig
Craig

Sorry there are actually things to do in Seattle. 

DanielW
DanielW

Errr, Thunder up lol

Rfgortoasdfosdf
Rfgortoasdfosdf

"With zombies, road-side masturbators, and mutant mosquitoes on the loose, South Floridians have plenty of things to be afraid of. But gay marriage isn't one of them. Join the 21st century, Oklahoma." Uhm, there is no way in hell gay marriage will ever become legal in Florida.  Get with the 21st century Mr Miller.

guest
guest

Bennett took them to Cattlemen's Restaurant and it's famous for their "lamb fries" and past presidents have gone there to eat.  I personally don't like them but it's a matter of taste.  Then the anti-gay stuff does not speak for all Oklahomans only for some.  Their are a few moderates and liberals in the state.  Westbrook wears those outfits because he knows they are ridiculous.  I think you are missing the point on that one. Seattle also had the lowest attendance in the nba or the near the top for about 20 years.  They didn't really appreciate it until it was the team was gone.  I know their are a few fans that stuck with them through out the years so I am sympathetic towards them. I wouldn't be surprised to see a new franchise come out of Seattle in the next 15 years or less.

Andrew Buchman
Andrew Buchman

I actually felt for the "fans" of Miami at one time.. thought maybe they got the short end of the stick and that a lot of the beatings they received nationally were unfounded, just like the hell OKC fans catch from the old regime for pulling for a team that was somehow "stolen" from Seattle was completely unwarranted as they as fans had zero to do with the move or the situation surrounding it .. however after reading this sorry excuse for an article, posted by a "Miami Fan" if there even is such a thing, i'm now certain that all the hate thrown the way of that city and its supposed "Heat Faithful" is not just warranted, but more then likely downplayed.. "5 reason to hate Oklahoma", really?.. what a life this guy must have.. we as a state are one of the few fighting openly for clean energy, have built several of the largest wind farms in the nation courtesy of Boone Pickens an Oklahoma State graduate.. most of us are very open minded and not bigots in any way nor is most of the state anti-gay, as it was pointed out only 6 states currently allow gay marriage (would you call the other 46 bigots as well?).. lamb fries or calf fries with a side of cream gravy and some onion rings are perhaps one of the best down home dishes you'll find anywhere, try having an open mind.. and Russel Westbrook can wear whatever he chooses so long as he continues to dice up Miami's sad excuse for a defense game in and out without proclaiming himself the next coming (cough cough, Lebron James).. get a life Miller, and Thunder Up!!. now i'm done with this page

Bbgf
Bbgf

Lol funny how only thunder fans posted on this! Where are you Miami? Bunch of pussies

Bbgf
Bbgf

Lol this is ridiculous find something better to do with your time as I THUNDER THE F$&K UP!

LD
LD

All the more reason to Thunder Up!!

seep
seep

Russel Westbrook looks like Bodie from The Wire.

Blain
Blain

You sir are an idiot. Thunder the F*** Up!

micah
micah

And what's your point ..what you just wrote can be said of every city and team in NBA.This is the U.S of A.people, team,politician can do whatever they want,once its between the law..so let go THUNDER

galveston
galveston

Oh, I forget Rubio, your lovely senator would-be vice presidential candidate.  The Tea Party avenger.  Lovely....lovely....representative for the state of Florida.  He'd give Coburn a run for his money in the fanaticism.   Yeah, root against the Heat.  Florida has Rubio.

galveston
galveston

Give me any billionaire owner and I'll show you someone who supports the Republicans, Miami included.  We wouldn't have had that god awful George Bush in the White House to put two wars on a credit card if it weren't for hanging chads and the lovely election crew of Florida.   Do you *really* want to go there when it comes to basketball?  Shall we blame the Heat for that? 200 million surplus to 200 billion deficit.   All billionaires are worthless scum.  It's a given.   Yeah, Tom Coburn's a dick, but he's not the Thunder either.

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