Florida Man Caught Masturbating in Front Yard, Left "Unknown Clear Liquid Substance" on Door Knob
The incident happened May 30. A female neighbor spotted Marriott wanking away and called police. According to Off the Beat, she told police that he was "walking back and forth masturbating in the driveway, the front yard, and between the trucks."
She also told police that he had his little Marriott "in his hand, working real hard at it." A-plus for effort. F for appropriateness.
When police arrived, they found that "unknown clear liquid substance" on his door knob. Let's not jump to conclusions, because it could have been... Oh, too late -- we've already jumped to conclusions, haven't we?
Police first spoke to Marriott's girlfriend. She said she had been taking a nap for the past three hours and that Marriott had not been in the bed with her.
Marriott was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of exposure of sexual organs.
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