After "Miami Zombie," Does A String of Horrific Crimes Mean We Started The Zombie Apocalypse?

Categories: Crime
zombieap.jpg
Miami likes to pride itself as a trendsetting metro, but this is ridiculous.

In the wake of the now infamous "Miami Zombie" face-eating attack, several other stories about mentally disturbed people either eating or doing other horrifically bizarre things to body parts have popped up in the media. Which either means a taste for human flesh really is spreading, or the media just has more of a taste for spreading the stories. More than likely it's the latter.

In any event, we guess it's somewhat comforting to know that Miami really isn't that much stranger than the rest of the world.

Baltimore Brain Eater
First we have a story out of Baltimore about a Morgan State University student killing, dismembering and eating his roommate. 37-year-old Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie went missing earlier this week, and his brother found metal tins in the basement that contained a human head and hands. The brother confronted 21-year-old college student Alexander Kinyua, who also stayed in the house. He said they were animal remains, but police determined otherwise. Kinyua latter confessed to killing the man, dismembering him with a knife and then eating his heart and portions of his brain, according to CBS Baltimore. The attack may have actually predated the Miami incident as Agyei-Kodie had gone missing on Friday night.

Canadian Killer Porn Star
This one is actually the craziest, with the most bizarre strands. This guy Luka Magnotta apparently murdered a man with an icepick, uploaded the video of the murder to the Internet, dismembered the man, and then mailed a foot to Canada's Conservative Party and tried to mail a hand to the Liberal Party. Magnotta also had a history of working in both low-budget straight, bisexual and gay pornography, and a weird Internet history that apparently included uploading video of killing kittens (he also might have had sex with the kitten's dead bodies). There's actually more weird odds and ends to this story, but we're about to throw up as it is.

There is however a small Miami connection (because of course there is). He once posted on the MiamiBeach411.com forums claiming to have moved to Miami in 2010. Of course the guy has a weird Internet trail, and a moderator of the forum points out the IP he used to post it was based in Toronto, Canada. So it's entirely possible he never actually lived in Miami.

New Jersey Intestine Flinger
We of course can always expect New Jersey to be competitive in the craziest state race. Police in Hackensack tried to intervene when a man holed up in his room and threatened to kill himself. Once they busted in the man stabbed himself and threw pieces of his skin and intestines at police.

Swedish Lip Eater
Even in idyllic, peaceful Sweden, things got cannibalistic this week. A man suspected his much younger wife of cheating on him, so he flew into a rage, cut off her lips, and then allegedly ate them. The man apparently believes he was merely protecting his honor, and feel no sorrow for the attack.

So What The Hell Is Going On Here? Is It the Sign of the End Times?
Probably not. The media may not have gotten high on bath salts, but the Miami incident probably left them (well, us) hungry for more gore. "Oh, you guys like hearing about the Miami Zombie? Well look what other crazy story we've found." Granted, the Miami incident was bound to hit the news, but it's also important to remember the time and place it occurred gave it extra media oomph.

Thanks to the hubbub and controversy surrounding Miami Beach's Memorial Day Weekend celebration after the police involved shooting that happened last year, the local media was on full alert waiting for something to happen. Nothing really that noteworthy ended up happening on Miami Beach this weekend, so we all just jumped on to this instead. The event also happened a block away from the HQ of a major, well major-ish, newspaper. So close, in fact, that the Miami Herald captured the attack on its security cameras. All that lead to immediate and increased local attention which later translated into national attention.

Stories of people eating other people aren't actually that uncommon. Just earlier this year a Florida man was arrested after killing a man in Connecticut, eating his brain, and telling his cousin it tasted like "women's come." In 2009 a Texas woman ate her newborn baby's brain and toes. Just in April three Brazilian members of a religious sect confessed to killing and eating parts of two women. In 2007 a Czech family killed, skinned and ate their 8-year-old brother and son. After police killed a Slovak man last year they found a fridge full of body parts belonging to two woman that they believe he feasted from. In 2008 a former Mr. Gay UK killed a guy and ate part of his thigh. A German adventurer who went missing in French Polynesia last fall may have also been eaten by his tour guide. We could find more examples from the last 5 years, but we think you've had enough.

This is not to say cannibalism is exactly common, but its not particularly rare either. This is a planet of nearly seven million billion people after all, and some of us are bound to end up going off the deep end up. But taking two cases that coincidentally happened within days of each other and throwing in a couple of other bizarre crimes does not exactly a zombie apocalypse make.

Remember back in late 2010 and early 2011 when the media was full of stories about mass animal deaths? No, you probably don't. Well here's a Wikipedia article on it! Some people were even sure it was a sign of the Apocalypse. Well, actually it turns out that mass animal deaths happen all the time. The media was just for some reason reporting on it a lot more. This is a whole lot more gruesome, but we're probably looking at the same media meme-ification here.

So rest assured, zombie mayhem is not breaking out. Though, we're not sure you can take much comfort in knowing things like this happen with some regularity.

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54 comments
Jeff
Jeff

Hey, I'm a White American, and frankly I don't care what race someone is, everyone had a little evil inside. Some more than others it seems, but like Wassim said I came here to read about Zombie related articles and/or jokes, not black this black that. If it boiled down to it us whites are the new minority in America that's fact, don't believe me look up the statistics. As for people on here saying "Ignorant uneducated whites who have a highschool education are the racist one" that also an ignorant stereotype. Becuase I just so happen to have made the poor decision to dropout and I'm not an Ignorant White Supremecist. Lastly those who are and who are posting on this comment section are mostly just trolling to get a rise out of you. Don't respond and they'll eventually go away.

Tard Bellows
Tard Bellows

THATS FUCKING EPIC! ZOMBIES ARE TAKING OVER! RUN FOR COVER! IT'S THE REAL LIFE HUNGER GAMES! WOOOOHOOO!

Wassim Mahmoud
Wassim Mahmoud

To be honest; I came here to read about a zombie Apocalypse. I'm not retarded; I know there's no such thing, but I'm interested to see where it goes. But the comments on this this is borderline retarded and sad. How races are just going at it for no apparent reason whatsoever is sick; even in my standards and I have a pretty sick sense of humor. Just remember; when you write about another race, call them monkeys or devils on the other side; that you can't wait to cleanse one another- know what your saying and how deep that means. Your talking about neighbors, your talking about your friends, even your family. But do you know what's the saddest part of this whole thing is; not one of you here commenting isn't american. You goes are attacking each other in the worst way; even though we're all one family. I usually don't give a shit what people comment. I've seen worse, usually just browse off; this is the first time I actually comment and you know what It feels fucking good. So can someone please write one comment talking about how were all fucked because zombies are out to get us, as a joke I came to read, and not about how the Negro's are out to get us turning into they're real selves, or how the Devils are going to die out. Both aren't true, both aren't going to happen; but maybe this zombie thing might. If it does; I hope each of these racist bastards turns first so I can personally start cleansing my country. 

Zombie Czar
Zombie Czar

While I do not believe the zombies are anything like what we see in the movies, there is a real virus out there that is scrambling peoples brains and making them do things that are completely unconscionable. I'm not real big on conspiracy theories, but I have inside knowledge of events that took place at one of the US Army's top biological warfare research and development laboratories. Aberdeen Proving Ground has been a testing and storage location for LSD, Mustard Gas, and many other chemicals, bacteria, and viruses including Rabies. Many incidents have occurred at this facility over the years, but most were contained or unheard of. Information was leaked from near the top of the command over there this time, and there's more than just whispers coming out of this once tight nit community of civil scientists and Army engineers. Do a little research on APG and tell me that it would impossible for this crew to have developed a brain scrambling derivative of Rabies.http://www.usatoday.com/news/washingt... http://chemdef.apgea.army.mil/ http://www.globalsecurity.org/... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v... 

Monealprudhomme
Monealprudhomme

 White people suck. Your skin color is a errant mutation. You will be extinct. Dark skin people will rule the world even if we have to do it chewed-pink-face by chewed-pink-face! OBAMA 2012!

TRAYVONTOOKTHE BULLETUPTHEASS
TRAYVONTOOKTHE BULLETUPTHEASS

Boy ask your mommy about her visit to the Veterinarian she can tell you about your monkey dna .do yourself a favor and visit the monkey jungle down in miami and get familiar with your relatives

Licha Almonord
Licha Almonord

#1: i hope that you don't call yourself a christian, and #2: your racism clearly indicates that you are ignorant and probably have a high school education.  Open a book and read, or step into a college classroom not based in the ignorant town you are from, and learn something. ALL HUMANS SHARE AN EXTREMELY SIMILAR DNA. ONLY LESS THAN ONE PERCENT OF OUR DNA MAKES US DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER.  ALL HUMANS SHARE OVER 98% OF THEIR GENETIC MATERIAL WITH CHIMPANZEES, MEANING YOU ARE ALSO A MONKEY.  COLOR IS A RESULT OF ADAPTATION TO ONE'S ENVIRONMENT.  I'm not angry about your blatant racism, but more upset about how ignorant you seem to be. Its sad that people who want to make blacks inferior lack education. Too bad you are so close minded.

darren peterson
darren peterson

Say what you want, i'm stocking up on tinned good's. The next person who knock's on my door sounding like an extra from ''night of the living dead'' i'm shooting in the head. Can't take second chances!!!!!

TRAYVONBITCHMOTHER
TRAYVONBITCHMOTHER

Kill all the Black Zombies BY any means necessary !!!!!!! Trayvon wont be eating anybody's face Zimmerman took care of him Zimmerman you are truly an american hero !!!!  Black people are parasites the cancer of society imagine a world without blacks   .....No crime,NO uneducated people,no Govt assistance ,No monkey ebonics, No ghettos,No more forclosures.no need for a police department ,no more Baboons roaming the street ,no more bastard children,no more rude people ,

Hard working American
Hard working American

Soooo let me get this straight. The media will drum up the Trayvon shooting as racism, even though it wasn't, but when a black man eats the face of an innocent and homeless white man, it's deemed as drug abuse/ insanity? I think that we should open our eyes. We need to get rid of these cannibalistic apes as soon as possible. America's future depends on it. Black people are the main reason we waste money on prison systems because they incapable of living respectfully in society. They buy shoes and rob people...They even say that they're deeply offended by the use of a word (The N word) even though it's part of their vocabulary. I know what I'm saying is unreasonable, but when you deal with unreasonable people such as these, you need to use unreasonable force. They steal from honest, hard working men by abusing the welfare system. Get a job! You people are the fucking reason America is the way it is. This isn't a 'zombie apocalypse', it's a Negro apocalypse.

Poppa
Poppa

All that talk at the end of day black ppl still gon b everywhere u go. Black prez black cops black lawyer teacher lol get wit the program. Cuz if u still want to make it a racism thing then u heavily out number. America fuck up when it giv blacks a microphone a book n ways to get money. We living bitch stop worrying bout us n do u. Dummy.

Trayvonrapedbyalsharpton
Trayvonrapedbyalsharpton

Zimmerman we have another target for you He uses the name Poppa  he is a nigger monkey on govt assistance he loves the taste of semen ..   Zimmerman as you did with trayvon by all means necessary !!!

Wassim Mahmoud
Wassim Mahmoud

holly shit; i can't believe people are actually writing and liking this! Are you kidding me dude, are you seriously going to connect this terrible crime with an entire race?!?!? So called hard working American? No one connected the murder of Trayvon and blamed it on an entire race- why are you blaming this monstrous act on an entire race?! There are plenty of acts of complete insanity from all races, including white. You don't need to look far, but we don't go about blaming the act of a crazy fucking lunatic on a race. That doesn't even come across. How about you go up to my neighbor's kid, who so happens to be black and tell him he's a nergro, tell him he's part of a nergo apocalypse, tell him he's the main reason this country is going to waste, that he's a walking time bomb ready to explode- and you'll get what you want. You'll see that little boy shake and tremble just like you want, because hey, he's black so that makes him a fucking monkey. But what you'll be really doing, is destroying a person, your neighbor, YOUR fucking son, who's part of our country and our blood. By what you write you weaken us all, you embarrassing us all, so do us all the greatest serves you can and stop. Just stop.     

Mikejones
Mikejones

FU tuff guy behind the computer

TRAYVONBITCHMOTHER
TRAYVONBITCHMOTHER

Trayvon is dead because he tried to recreate what he herad on  Lil Wayne rap songs but reality kicked in and he got his black ass SHOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!    A MILLIE A MILLIE  

Asdf Qqq9001
Asdf Qqq9001

These other acts of cannibalism are less newsworthy because they did not act like zombies. They just acted like cannibals. Obviously its the zombies that people are interested in.

Vojtech Sova
Vojtech Sova

ehm... i live in czech republic and the 2007 incident wasnt cannibalistic. the boy is alive... he was locked up in cellar yes, and tortured but not skinned and eaten. And I was really looking in to this case so I am pretty sure that that skinned and eaten part os just misinterpetation of translation :)

Popa
Popa

Okkkk I'm pretty sure they was more then one boy.

Smithsuzie71
Smithsuzie71

also the flesh eating virus along with rabies and mad cow disease reports

Paddy
Paddy

In Japan a man cut off his own penis and ate itjust google it

Sammielynn_06
Sammielynn_06

I know that this is not some new source of information. Everyone knows that cannibalism is out there, but there are links to a drug causing an out-of-body experience, causing people to lose themselves and allow them to feel no pain and give them almost super-human strength. Who are you to say that this isn't a major issue? It is serious drugs spread rapidly and vast. I recently heard of a slightly similar crime occurring in California. People need to be educated on the risk of this occurring in their neighborhood, people aren't as smart, as a whole, as what they are given credit for. Here is a link for that similar California crime http://www.facebook.com/l.php?... 

Seriously?
Seriously?

Uhhh this sounds way too similar to an article on cracked.com. :/

Seriously that's as bad as using Wikipedia as a source.

Hgdjtf
Hgdjtf

What about the brain machine that was just stolen which happens to be carrying a deathly disease and the fact the government wants to depopulate the WORLD 6 billion by the end of 2012 I'm not saying its a zombie apocalypse but the government does have control on a lot more shit then just laws

BlackZombieKilla
BlackZombieKilla

Say no to Urban Black Week its just an undercover Black Zombie Convention.

broseph
broseph

i find this pretty interesting, reall or not, it is hilarioous! the zombie attack is happening.. all you people who believe don't come crying to me when your family & friends turn iinto zombies!! c: haha biring it!lol like i said this is hilarious!! **yolo** that iis what he was thinking during this attack! also, bring onn the zombiies.. i'm prepared!

BlackZombieKilla
BlackZombieKilla

a Zombie can be educated and teached to  behave . But a Black Ghetto Zombie needs to be shot point blank

BlackZombieKilla
BlackZombieKilla

Black Ghetto Zombies are on the loose i have identified additional zombies.     Luther campbell Trayvons Mother Father and step father . Rodney King also. free Zimmerman give him back his 9mm  

BlackZombieKilla
BlackZombieKilla

 Free Zimmerman he knows how to take care of Black Zombies ...Trayvon was the first one smoking weed with crushed skittles very agressive towards poor Zimmerman.Rudy Eugene the second Black Zombie known case he ate poor PoPPO face  .Alexander Kinyua 3rd Black Zombie from Maryland he ate his roommate heart and brain. Zimmerman needs to be free he can eliminate this threat to national security .Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson are both Black Zombies as well .

Guest
Guest

I wish,more people would read further in than the headlines. If more people did that, less people would be of the belief this is a Zobmie Apocalypse. Unfortunatly, I have a drunk uncle who belives that this is the start of a Zombie Apocalypse.. I tried to get him to give me reasoning, but he didn't respond. He also belives almost anything he sees ANYWHERE.

BlackZombieKilla
BlackZombieKilla

Zimmerman Knew that the Black zombies were getting ready to attack and he killed the first one TRAYVON Sanford Zombie (black)..Rudy Eugene Miami Zombie (black) killed by police department and Alexander Kinyuahe Maryland Zombie (black ) has been arrested ..   It has started !   Zimmerman we have a group of 45 Spec Ops with customized AR15 flash grenades and all types of Anti-Black  Zombie military technology  waiting for you . We know so far they like watermelons, Fried chicken skittles and arizona iced tea!!!

Gmail
Gmail

Zimmerman Knew that the Black zombies were getting ready to attack and he killed the first one TRAYVON Sanford Zombie (black)..Rudy Eugene Miami Zombie (black) killed by police department and Alexander Kinyuahe Maryland Zombie (black ) has been arrested ..   It has started !   Zimmerman we have a group of 45 Spec Ops with customized AR15 flash grenades and all types of Anti-Black  Zombie military technology  waiting for you . We know so far they like watermelons, Fried chicken skittles and arizona iced tea!!!

Gmail
Gmail

Alexander Kinyuahe Maryland Zombie arrested yesterday also a Black Male ..Chimpanzee DNA and years of eating Fried Chicken Watermelon Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea has caused a mutation and has created the BLACK ZOMBIE

Wassim Mahmoud
Wassim Mahmoud

dude that's not even funny, I'm not black but that doesn't mean I don't get offended by what you wrote. There are plenty of worse shit happening from all colors, don't forget in the end of the day after all the laugh's about zombies and shaking our heads from how bizarre these murders have become- they are still murders, they're sick and disgusting. Don't relate sick minded fucks to a race. Not even in a joke- cause that in itself is sicker then these events. We all know the jokes about every race- don't tie them up here dude. Just stop

Wofford Brad
Wofford Brad

Racism should be treated as a joke so it looses it's power all u winey bitches need to lighten up u pussies

Gmail
Gmail

Zimmerman Knew that the Black zombies were getting ready to attack and he killed the first one TRAYVON Sanford Zombie (black)..Rudy Eugene Miami Zombie (black) killed by police department and Alexander Kinyuahe Maryland Zombie arrested yesterday (black ) has been arrested ..   It has started !   Zimmerman we have a group of 45 Spec Ops with customized AR15 flash grenades and all types of Anti-Black  Zombie military technology  waiting for you . We know so far they like watermelons, Fried chicken skittles and arizona iced tea!!!

Halo
Halo

EVERYONE DO BATH SULT ITS THE BEST LOLZ XD DO IT!!!@!!!!!!

Zombie Czar
Zombie Czar

The virus is said to have been discovered/hybridized from a form of rabies during WWII by a German scientist working for the US Army at Aberdeen Proving Ground. Apparently, a sealed slide was ruptured during a building renovation at APG in January of this year, and unbeknownst to the construction workers, they took the virus out into the general population on their clothing. The virus has a 5-6 month incubation period once exposed to an open wound or mucus membrane.

Jon
Jon

yup looked  it up and  most of what you said lines up.  The Health services building (which upon further research also serves as R&D med facility) did undergo renovations, there was a rabies strain found to  be weaponized in ww2, as well as smallpox, typhus, ect...  The timeline also meets up with standard incubation for rabies in a human so is possible.   From the beginning my wife has screamed bio weapon, or chem attack, NOTICE no zombies lol, but yeah something is going on.

TruthTells
TruthTells

where is your proof i was unable to find anything on this.

BDrew
BDrew

7 million people on the planet? That's an interesting fact. Edit then post.

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