Meanwhile, Marlins Manager Resorts to Booze and Pills as Team Continues to Suck

Categories: Sports

For the Marlins, June is the cruelest month. They've cemented a tradition in the past few seasons of starting off strong and seeing it all sink away in the sixth month. A revamped roster, new name, new stadium, and new manager couldn't stave off the June slump. They're 4-14 for the month after having briefly lead their division in May. Miami sports fans have been otherwise engaged over the past few weeks obviously, but manager Ozzie Guillen has had to live with his team's crappy play. His solution: booze and pills. 


After the Marlins lost the Boston Red Sox on Wednesday, a reporter asked Guillen how he's dealing with the defeats. 

"Easy. Seven Presidentes and a sleeping pill and be ready for the job tomorrow," he replied.

So, in case you were wondering, Guillen prefers Dominican pilsner, and obviously a six pack just isn't enough for him. 

Guillen of course admitted earlier this year that he gets wasted after every game on the road, so this isn't exactly surprising.

But come on Ozzie, alcohol is for winners. You want to keep drinking Presidentes? Or do you want to guzzle $75,000-a-bottle champagne at LIV?

The Hurricanes don't take to the field until September 1st. The Dolphins kick-off on September 9th. Until then, the Marlins are the only ticket in town. Its time to shine. Give Miami sports fans a reason to do something else besides watch LeBron highlights on YouTube and get excited about new pictures of Lauren Tannehill

The Marlins finish off the rest of the month at home. They've got series against the mediocre Blue Jays and Cardinals, and then the Phillies (the only team below them in their division, by the way).  So, there's a decent chance they could pull up above .500 again. We don't expect this team to win another championship this year, but it would be nice to at least see them get a chance to lose a playoff series. 

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...