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Mugshots Friday: A Bird Leaves the Flock

Categories: Mugshots Friday
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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series. For more mugshots from Broward and Palm Beach, check out The Pulp.

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Arrested: 7/10
Charged with: Aggravated battery, domestic violence
"Dat"? "Day"? "Pat"? Why?

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Arrested: 7/13
Charged with: Aggravated battery
First he's arrested in some crazy apocalyptic bare-knuckle boxer getup, then in a Heat jersey, and now in prison-issue orange. This guy is like the Ken doll of mugshots -- you can dress him however you want. Next, we're requesting a unitard.

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Arrested: 7/18
Charged with: Drinking on the street
This guy's mugshot is a better motivational poster than those "Hang in there, kitty!" photos with the cat dangling from the rope. (Which is saying a lot -- those posters work.) Screw your problems, yuppie, this dude just got arrested for the crime of having a cold one at home, but he doesn't have a home because he really likes cold ones, which should be a crime only if you're a total dick. But he does not give a fuck. Bring on the green baloney sandwich -- he gets hungry when he's drunk.


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5 comments
miamitrev2
miamitrev2 topcommenter

Congrats to you and your life partner Gus

joejoejoejoe
joejoejoejoe

Does this mean we aren't going to have any more Mugshot Fridays?

RANTone
RANTone

baloney?? lol. cmon, meng...its bologna.

 

GusGarciaRoberts
GusGarciaRoberts

 @joejoejoejoe Nah, we got a protege being mentored as we speak in a hilarious and inspiring montage sequence. He'll be taking over.

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