Dolphins Fall to Cowboys 30-13 To End Preseason Winless, Then Crash The Team Plane

By Roger Paul Thu., Aug. 30 2012 at 8:00 AM

In what is typically the most uninteresting and uneventful of all preseason games, the Dolphins conducted business-as-usual by falling to the Dallas Cowboys 30-13 last night, completing the 2012 preseason with only their third winless effort in franchise history.

The Fins followed up in the most appropriate way possible: By literally crashing the team plane on the way out of town. Really!

As for the game itself, it was meaningless to be sure, but the Dolphins' tendencies to drop passes on offense, give up big plays on defense and overall just play like diarrhea dog ass continued on Wednesday night. Luckily, the most important outcomes - namely some encouraging play from rookie QB Ryan Tannehill and the fact that his head was not decapitated given backside protection from the likes of on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again offensive lineman, Ray Feinga - were positive given the rash of injuries the Dolphins have experienced recently.

Some 'highlights' from the fourth, and most sleep-inducing, preseason game of the year:

- Tannehill was quick, decisive and accurate in his limited action against Dallas, despite facing Dallas' second and third teamers and lining up with many of the Dolphins' own future benchwarmers/2012 Papa Johns delivery drivers. However, the shitstain receiving prowess of our WRs continued as projected starting WR Legedu Naanee dropped yet ANOTHER pass on a short yardage, third down play that would have resulted in a converted first down. Tannehill finished 5-of-7 for 35 yards on his abbreviated night.

- The Dolphins -- who have not led a game all preseason (NOW THAT'S VALUE, JEFF IRELAND!) -- finally took a lead with 2:35 left in the first quarter as Dan Carpenter did, what else, kick a FG for the 3-0 lead. Worth noting is a missed pass interference call by the NFL's replacement refs on a third and two during the previous play. Tannehill showed nice touch on a fade to the end zone but the pass fell incomplete as the Dallas defender plowed into Naanee without looking back. Bad missed call but it's preseason so, meh, fuck it.

- The defense wasn't exactly Killer B's either, giving up more than a few big plays (including a 58-yard run to RB Lance Dunbar), being flagged for two pass interference calls and showing a not-surprising lack of depth that will have Jeff Ireland salivating for fallen 'acorns' all over the NFL landscape come cut day Friday. Behind the mostly dreadful band of starters for this team is a bag of dried mule shit so you better hope most of these guys stay relatively healthy.