RNC 2012 Day Two: Doe-Eyed Kid Takes Stage, Talks About AC/DC, Vows Not to Kill Old People
|P90X champion Paul Ryan|
Then something strange happened: a strapping young P90X addict with sparkling blue swimming pools for eyes sauntered onto stage, name dropped Led Zeppelin and AC/DC, and promised not to kill old people. The crowd f***ing loved it.
Eventually, it dawned on the sea of septuagenarians that the preternaturally pumped guy on stage was not their 6 a.m. "Building a Better You" country club exercise class instructor.
Instead, it was almost midnight and the loudly shouting man was GOP vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan.
Not that the message differed that much, really. Take one of Ryan's closing statements, for example: "The work ahead will be hard. These times demand the best of all of us -- all of us, but we can do this -- we can do this. Together, we can do this!"
One more set, guys! Feel the burrrrrrn!!!
A couple minutes later, however, it quickly became clear that this bright-eyed kid was kind of a dick. First, he made up some crap about Obama closing a plant in Ryan's hometown of Janesville, when it actually closed under George W. Bush. (That was just one of a boatload of blatant lies told by Ryan. Seriously, he made a lot of shit up.)
Then he started mocking the president: "[Obama] said his job is to, quote, 'Tell a story to the American people.' As if that is the whole problem here: He needs to talk more and we need to be better listeners?"
And later: "College graduates should not have to live out their 20s in their childhood bedrooms, staring up at fading Obama posters and wondering when they can move out and get going with life."