Dolphins Fall to Texans 30-10 In Season-Opening Flop
-- The duo of defensive backs Sean Smith and Richard Marshall played like gooey maggotty slime against All-Pro/former Cane, Andre Johnson. Johnson had 8 catches for 119 yards and a TD (right on Smith who was completely out-muscled). He did whatever he wanted WHENEVER he wanted. Wish we had a tough, athletic, physical CB to match him up with. You usually draft those guys in the first round and keep them. OH WELL! WHO NEEDS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE 'VALUE'!!!!!
-- Again: Fuck Jeff Ireland with a bag of pine cones from A.D. 'Doug' Barnes Park.
-- The Texans took FULL advantage of the Dolphins soft zone in the defense -- consistently floating touch-perfect passes to wide receivers and tight ends -- over the heads of linebackers and just in front of ineffectual defensive backs. The Texans also employed a number of three-step drop, quick slants to awaiting wide receivers which Dolphins Defensive Coordinator Kevin Coyle had no answer for. The Dolphins were about as aggressive as your abuelo without his Viagra medication.
-- Daniel Thomas left the game with a head injury on the play where he fumbled in the second quarter. I hope he's OK and all, but Daniel Thomas is mostly a flaming pile of animal excrement. Ireland second round picks, yeah!
-- Some of the good? Davone Bess was reliable as usual, Brian Hartline flashed some chipmunk-y passion late, Randy Starks was disruptive early and rookie running back Marcus Thigpen's punt return for a TD was awesome. Also, LaMontell Pussyhammer (aka Reggie Bush) was smoooooooth through the Texans' defensive line on running plays and a silky jazzman in the passing game for a total of 115 yards between the two. There needs to be more of that.
This outcome was expected but at least Tannehill got some experience against a trendy Super Bowl pick and Jonathan Martin's line-work didn't get RT17's head taken off!
Soooooo, win??! (No.)
Your Miami Dolphins take on the Oakland Raiders at Sunlife Stadium this upcoming Sunday at 1 p.m.
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