Miami Dolphins Obliterate the Oakland Raiders 35 - 13

-- Granted, the Fins were playing a very very shitty Raiders team, but the defense also held its own by allowing the Raiders only 23 yards rushing. The defense also repeatedly slapped Carson Palmer's penis and wagged their finger in his face any time he tried to stage some kind of comeback. Late in the fourth quarter, a Carson Palmer pass was even intercepted by Reshad Jones to seal the victory. You read that right: a Miami Dolphins defensive player actually caught a pass thrown by the opposing quarterback and ran in the correct direction. Amazing!

-- Two things that can't be understated: the degree to which the weather (a hot, sunny Miami September day at 1pm) affected the Raiders -- particularly their defense -- as the game wore on, and the absolute shit field position the Raiders consistently found themselves in. The Dolphins did a great job of pinning the Raiders back and forcing them to work with a long field drive after drive throughout the game.

-- After the game, Joe Philbin was given a Gatorade bath by the players and you can tell he did not like that very much. Joe Philbin and his couch are going to have a talk with those guys today and HEY CAN YOU PICK UP THAT PIECE OF PAPER FROM THE FLOOR, YOU RUFFIAN!

All in all, this was a great win for the team and for a fanbase that feels as though it's been strapped to a chair, Clockwork Orange-style, and forced to endure a seemingly endless amount of shitty football. For once it seemed the team focused on what should be their identity (running the ball, limiting mistakes by a young Tannehill and playing sound defense) with this kind of football team and it miraculously worked!

So, kudos to them for the week and here's to serving those shitty fuckin' Jets a healthy serving of Reggie Bush ass closet this upcoming Sunday.

Your Miami Dolphins take on the dirty stinkin' New Jersey Jets at Sun Life Stadium this Sunday at 1 p.m.

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