Mugshots Friday: The Canes Fan, the Dolphins Fan, and Future Guy Fieri

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series. For mugshots from Broward and Palm Beach, check out The Pulp.

Arrested: 9/1
Charged with: Drinking in public
Quick, someone get this man an empty chair to yell at!

Arrested: 9/1
Charged with: Entering a park after hours
Police may think they caught themselves a common vagrant, but man, are they going to feel stupid once they realize that this is Future Guy Fieri gone back in time to stop his Red Rocker Margarita Chicken before it gains sentience and enslaves us all.

Arrested: 9/1
Charged with: Armed robbery, aggravated assault, burglary
On the other hand, if you were to tell me this dude is a Terminator, I'd believe you with no questions asked. I don't think this guy even knows the definition of pity. I feel bad for the first person who jokingly calls him a grumpy Gus in prison, because that man is going to get shivved about 400 times in a minute.