Every year there are a handful of Halloween costumes that you just know everyone is going to wear. Look at recent Halloweens and recall just how many Amy Winehouses, Sarah Palins, and Twilight character costumes you saw.
Dressing up as the cliche Halloween costume of the year almost ensures someone else at the party will show up in the exact same costume, and there's nothing worse than that. So, Riptide is here to help by letting you know which trendy, ripped-from-the-headlines costumes will be trending this year, and offering alternatives that will help you stand out.
Honey Boo Boo
Oh child, you know literally tens of thousands of people are planning their Honey Boo Boo costumes right now. Everyone from Southern size-12 sorority girls to fat dudes who have always wanted to wear a dress. The pint size pageant queen will be to this Halloween what Snooki was to 2010 (and while we're at it, don't even think about Pregnant Snooki this year). Plus, do you really want anyone to be hit on you while you're dressed as a redneck six-year-old?
Alternative: Glitzy the gay pig
To go as Honey Boo Boo's beloved pig, all you need is six pack abs, glittery body lotion, a pink speedo with a corkscrew tail attached and a fake pig nose.
The Miami Zombie or the Miami Zombie's Victim
You're just playing with karma here, especially if you wear it in Miami.
Alternative: Bath Salts
You could go the literal route: dressing up as a package of Spice or K2. You could go the figurative route: a shalt shaker in a bath tube. Or you could go this
route: the Morton's salt girl as a zombie.
Binders Full of Women
You know some last-minute liberal is going to go to Office Depot, pick up a 3-ring binder, fill it with pages ripped out of Maxim, and hang it around their neck.
Alternative: Binder Full of Mitt Romney's Tax Returns
If you're going to be that lazy, save yourself the time and don't even fill the binder with anything and just label it "Mitt Romney's tax returns."
There have already been news stories
about how this dumb costume is selling out.
Alternative: Jim Lehrer
We all know Halloween can get heavy and contentious, so just dress in a suit and fail while trying to keep drunk dudes from fighting.