Dolphins Beat Rams 17-14 Despite Rushing for Only 20 Yards

Categories: Sports

The Miami Dolphins are 3-3 today in spite of absolutely listless performances by both teams in a boring game, a second straight game of questionable (read: crappy) officiating and the Dolphins only rushing for a total of 20 yards all game. However, the continued influence of Ryan Tannehill's burgeoning awesomeness continues to fuel the Dolphins as they plow through semi-crappy teams.

Furthermore (and perhaps more importantly), Coach Joe Philbin is getting more and more comfortable and making sound football decisions throughout the game rather than shooting himself in the foot like a Scooby Doo villain with an ill-conceived plan. The Dolphins countered the Rams' blitz game plan on defense with quick passes and three-step drops in order to get the ball quicker out of Tannehill's hands and into the hands of skill guys like Reggie Bush. Philbin showed serious gusto and trickeration by direct snapping the ball to upback Chris Clemons on a 4th quarter punt that allowed the Fins to tick off a few more precious minutes whilst holding a tenuous 3-point lead. Philbin even appeared to call a timeout to give his gassed defense a rest and simultaneously allow impending showers to move over the stadium to make it harder for the pesky Rams to score on 4th Goal from the 1.

Tricky, brass balls Philbin is MUCH more enjoyable than ice-your-own-team Philbin.

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Some more highlights:

- The staples of this Dolphins season -- a stout run defense and a punishing running team on offense -- were simply not there today and the Dolphins still found a way to win. I'M NOT USED TO THIS!!! The Dolphins allowed 162 net yards rushing and 462 total net yards on defense and only accrued 20 yards rushing on offense.

-- However, the key was Ryan Tannehill made no mistakes on offense, passing for a tidy 185 yards on 21-of-29 passes and 2 TDs. Tannehill was extremely efficient again, making the obvious passes, showing great touch and finding the open man on damn near every play he dropped back (including his first TD pass to Marlon Moore where Rams DB Janoris Jenkins got caught with his eyes in the backfield and out of position). The kid is really impressing us as of late and is without a doubt the reason the Dolphins are finding ways to WIN rather than our traditional roles of being the Einsteins of Losing.

- We can't stress the role that Rams kicker Greg 'Legatron' Zuerlein had in this win, however.  Homeboy was previously perfect in his rookie season but missed THREE STRAIGHT kicks in this game, allowing the Fins to escape with a 3-point victory. Maybe it was the stink of Dan Carpenter, maybe it was the poor conditions but his misses from 48, 32 and a laughable as fuck 66 yarder to close the game were paramount to edging the Rams. Screw you, Fraulein Zuerlein!!!

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Pussies as Dolphins is not an apt metaphor this year.  Pussies smell like fish, I will give you that, and we have a Bush for a running back.  But Dolphins are mammals not fish, and SHIT I'VE LOST MY MIND.  Help me baby Jesus, help me Jewish God, help me Allah, help me Tom Cruise.  I think some zombie's been eating my Brainz.

GregFromDelray god..watching that fucking Pittsburgh bullshit still pisses me off to this day.

James G. Camp
James G. Camp

Nope, it only appears that way, tiebreaker is against them, 0-1 vs the division, loss to the Jets.

Sebastian Chaviano
Sebastian Chaviano

Dolphins are tied for first in the East cause everyone is sucking ass in the east...still not something to be "proud" of...bandwagoners just get worse every season

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