Fact Check: Tampa Bay Times Calls Miami-Dade the "Strangest County in the Weirdest State in America"

Categories: Media Watch
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The Tampa Bay Times decided to travel down south to gauge our political scene here ahead of the election, and proclaimed Miami-Dade County "the strangest county in the weirdest state in America."

Well, since The Tampa Bay Times is also behind the popular political fact checking website PolitiFact, we were inspired to check some facts of our own.

Claim:
"What if a presidential election came down to the strangest county in the weirdest state in America? For better or worse, that's Miami-Dade."
Fact Check: While it is true that Florida is America's weirdest state, trying to decide which county in the strangest is like trying to find the guy who is the most stoned at a Phish concert. It's impossible. No one in Miami-Dade lately has had sexual relations with a donkey, beat their ex with his fake leg, or stored the remains of 100 people in a storage unit. We find this claim dubious at best. We might be strange, but, come on, we're not that strange.

Claim:
"But this is Miami, so it's likely we'll have to wait on the vote tally because some precinct worker is stuck in traffic behind a delivery truck parked for no clear reason on the Interstate express lane. Or stuck behind a grisly crime scene, perhaps involving face-eating."
Fact Check: Statistically, only a very low percentage of the crimes in Miami-Dade involve face-eating. Yes, higher than most other counties, but still, very, very low. So it's highly unlikely face-eating will lead to vote tally delays.

Claim:
"Maybe behind paparazzi stalking a misbehaving celebrity."
Fact Check: While celebrities are often photographed in Miami on our beaches and occasionally our streets, most of their misbehaving occurs up in the club, far, far away from paparazzi. Because while what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas, what happens in Miami didn't happen at all.

Claim:
Miami-Dade defines Florida to much of America: super models and mega yachts, Elian Gonzalez, the poorest of the poor, old Cuban exiles in guayaberas sipping espresso.
Fact Check: Nope, Florida is now defined by people cracked out on pain pills, Casey Anthony, people humping manatees, and giant snakes eating alligators.

Claim:
"But the rest of Florida tends to view the state's most populous county with wary suspicion: a foreign territory with chronic public corruption problems, the nastiest campaigns and the occasional Santeria sacrifice leaving animal parts on sidewalks."
Fact Check: This is true, but F you too, rest of Florida.

Claim:
"Of course, you know Miami is heavily Hispanic, but it's easy to miss just how much so."
Fact Check: This is in no way easy to miss at all to anyone with working eyes and ears.

Claim:
"When Romney campaigned at a Miami juice shop, Democrats crowed that El Palacio de los Jugos was owned by a convicted cocaine trafficker. The reaction in Miami? Yawn."
Fact Check: Riptide can not find evidence that anyone actually yawned when hearing of this news. The reaction was more likely, "Ha, of course he did."

So how do we rate this story?

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Why? Because that's obviously the coolest GIF to steal from the PolitiFact website.

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32 comments
Sean O'Hanlon
Sean O'Hanlon

If Miami is strange I don't ever want to live someplace "normal".

trace
trace

Tampa ceased being a rival metropolis to South Florida decades ago. It's just too small and insignificant.

Luis Ricardo Lopez
Luis Ricardo Lopez

I just finished listening to 2 different sports radio stations here in Chicago, and both of them, said that Jacksonville is the worst and ickiest place they have ever been and that tampa bay is the second worst. Miami was brought up, and they had nothing bad to say about it. As far as I am concerned, being born and raised in miami, I wouldn't invite fiddle Castro to Tampa or Jacksonville because I believe Cuba looks better than both places and the people act better and are smarter than in Tampa and Jacksonville. I would be embarrassed. And the Tampa bay newspaper is saying this?! now that's weird.

Mario Trevino
Mario Trevino

No, it's the "strangest" county in the weirdest state.

Cary Marshall Felton
Cary Marshall Felton

I've lived in both areas. The people are the same. People have historically migrated between both areas. In fact I am starting to see more Ex-Miami residence move to Tampa Bay and I do not expect the trend to slow down .

Boukman Mangones
Boukman Mangones

So if martians landed in Miami, they'd move to Tampa. Are we supposed to be a homogenous country? I missed that part...

Eric Quitugua
Eric Quitugua

Besides, we need to fight the real enemy: Jacksonville. What the fuck's up with that place? Is that really part of Florida?

Eric Quitugua
Eric Quitugua

I've lived in both places. Both are incredibly sketchy so I agree there's no point in trying to find the weirdest county in this bath salt, gator 'splodin', manatee humpin', robbing a store with a taco, pill-popping state of ours.

FringeFla
FringeFla

@timelfrinkmia @MiamiNewTimes Funny. Not long ago SoFla and Tampa Bay were bickering over who had the most reality TV stars.

Tom Blazejack
Tom Blazejack

What is really weird is that Miami-Dade is such a huge economic engine for the State and yet they let themselves get kicked around by the Tallahassee political machine.

Christopher Jorge
Christopher Jorge

i've been all over the states and miami-dade is like another country for sure!

Eloisa Granado
Eloisa Granado

I'm a Miami girl born and raised and maybe my fine city is slightly weird and crazy (never a dull moment around here) but at least we're not culturally void like Tampa. I mean, what goes on there anyway?! ;)

Bryan Mello
Bryan Mello

idk if anyone that commented before actually lives down here in Dade, but they're totally right.

HarryTheHandyman
HarryTheHandyman

You spend time "fact checking" a stupid article in order to write your own stupid article, but don't bother fact checking news stories when you snag them off other news sites

D.f. Basora
D.f. Basora

is anyone giving this any credibility? I mean, it's fucking tampa saying this for christs sake!

Stephen240
Stephen240

Tampa sucks...fucking redneck heaven and more weirdos than EVEN South Florida. They do have Berns Steakhouse, so.....gotta them that.

chasebockman
chasebockman

@ciaralavelle @MiamiNewTimes plus that really fucks with big brothers face recognition technology .

dusntlacmuch
dusntlacmuch

@timelfrinkmia @MiamiNewTimes or the world perhaps

miamitrev2
miamitrev2 topcommenter

"Fuck Tampa"

- Caller to the Neil Rogers Show

FringeFlorida
FringeFlorida

@dusntlacmuch @timelfrinkmia @MiamiNewTimes Funny. Not long ago SoFla and Tampa Bay were bickering over who had the most reality TV stars.

dusntlacmuch
dusntlacmuch

@FringeFlorida @timelfrinkmia @MiamiNewTimes I think we all know how "real" those "stars" are friend. #reallikeunicorns

FringeFlorida
FringeFlorida

@dusntlacmuch @timelfrinkmia @MiamiNewTimes Touché

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