Hurricane Sandy: A Message to the Northeast from Miami

Categories: Category 5
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Oh hey Northeast, how you doing? Oh, you're about to get a hurricane. It's a Category One. We totally didn't even hear about it. Oh, wait, that's all we're hearing about right now.

Listen, we're kind of jealous. A hurricane comes towards Florida and it gets maybe a 30 second mention on CNN. One heads towards the Northeast, and it's at the top of the 24/7 news cycle. However, we're sensing you guys are kind of freaking out. Didn't you guys go through this last year? Come on, haven't you adopted a "whatever" attitude towards hurricanes yet?

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Here's some helpful tips from us Floridians, grizzled Hurricane vets.

1. Calm the fuck down: you are not the first people to endure a hurricane
If I had a "I survived Hurricane ______" shirt for every storm I've endured, I could go for weeks at a time without doing laundry. I believe people in certain parts of Florida actually do this. As long as you're prepared there's nothing really to freak out about. Hurricane Sandy is only a Category One. Or as we call it Florida: regular summer weather with a bit more wind. You guys endure things like "blizzards" or whatever. You can handle some rain and wind.

2. Stop making memes
The fuck is wrong with you people? You've set up a site dedicated to Instagram photos of the storm. You're playing "Fuck, Marry, Kill" with weather reporters. You're Photoshopping the hell out of Sandra Dee from Grease. You've canonized a shirtless man in a horse mask. Stop. None of these are even funny. Get off your MacBook Pros and start preparing.


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38 comments
georgina.rene
georgina.rene

The storm was bad. This blog is insensitive.  It was a hurricane and a snowstorn as well and shut down the largest city in America NYC. Stop making light of it. SMH

stupid.hurricanes
stupid.hurricanes

omg! exactly what i've been thinking! yes, there was a lot of trauma and such but back in 2005, there were so many storms that we started using the greek alphabet and people were without power for months. people were without roofs and homes for years. driving through central florida and counting the blue rooftops became a driving game. the amount of damage here doesn't match florida with andrew or nola with katrina. if it was this amount of damage in south florida, it'd be on for like a day and then move on when the death toll didnt go above 200

Caro10
Caro10

Ugh... I don't really even know what to say about this. Being from Miami and surviving all the scarier hurricanes, I was still scared for Sandy. Why? Oh well because I actually LEFT Miami (yes, Miami kids, you too can leave Miami!) and now live in a city that doesn't normally get hurricanes. I would even say people in the NE were more prepped for the storm because they actually went out and got supplies. The lines at the grocery store across the street from me rivaled that of Disney's Splash Mountain during peak season. When a city doesn't normally get hurricanes gets a hurricane, yes, people will freak out. And sorry Kyle Munzenrieder, sorry that being stuck in your house for extended periods of time causes you to be bored.  You're tasteless and insensitive. 

Ana Cláudia
Ana Cláudia

Danny Diaz, I am also a hurricane Andrew survivor and when Andrew was on its way to South Florida they did not predict it was a cat 5 but a cat 3. When you see your roof crumble above your head and then see the sky during a hurricane, you dont become desensitized by any hurricane! My motto is that it's better to be safe & ready than sorry. As for this article; ignorance, absolute ignorance on the writer's behalf! I wonder if he thinks it's "cute" now when he sees the images of flooded homes and businesses, the crumbling of historical building facades and, sadly, deaths. NYC and the northeast is resilient, we're already getting creative on how to fix and rebuild. & thank you, thank you so much to all who cared. Sincerely, Andrew survivor and Sandy survivor.

buckymerino
buckymerino

you've gone through some pretty catastrophic storms in the past, and nobody is going to deny it.  but you're taking a hard experience you've gone through and instead of seeing this as an opportunity to help people with advice, you spew out a smug article that reeks of jealousy and is desperate for attention.  don't worry, we'll pay attention to florida in a few days.

acschultz
acschultz

I hope you retract this article after seeing all the damage a category one can do here in the North East- cute, right?!

Jake
Jake

Geez, northeasterners get worked up over cat 1 hurricanes AND tongue in cheek articles.   "Calm the fuck down" indeed.

Guestypants
Guestypants

Oh Please.  I'd like to see Florida try a Nor'easter.  You'd all freeze to death and we'd all be spared this kind of condescending garbage every time a storm rolls through the northeast and kills 40 or 50 people.  I'll say hi to my mother-in-law, who is taking care of patients at Atlantic City Medical Center and stuck in a hotel there indefinably.

randygyllenhaal
randygyllenhaal

This is stupid. The Northeast doesn't have the infrastructure or experience to handle a hurricane. If South Florida got 3 feet of snow, you'd be freaking out too.

nospam
nospam

Florida is irrelevant. No one cares what happens there. In contrast, the Northeast is important.

Evan Berman
Evan Berman

To The people who commented... I grew up in Florida so I now all about hurricanes. Most people in Miami talk a hell of a lot more than think or open a newspaper or book. Hurricane damage wherever it is, is bad...sea level, no sea level etc. And a lot more damage is done in a place like NY, DC, etc rather than getting the brunt of the damage in a place like Homestead during Hurricane Andrew. AND, this is 3 storm systems colliding.....dont speak until you know what you are talking about...Most Miamians I know and have come in contact with think they are clever but others think are just plain stupid

pcardone516
pcardone516

Psst... you only get a 30 second mention on CNN because your state doesn't matter (unless there is a rigged election at stake).

lawmd03
lawmd03

hey northeast get over it ...it's only a cat 1

D.f. Basora
D.f. Basora

message to the writer of the blog: DO YOUR DAMN RESEARCH! This isn't a major concern solely because of the hurricane. It's a major concern because the hurricane will be colliding with one if not TWO winter storms that will add energy and make it a superstorm. So quit trying to sound all cool and clever because of a category one. it's much more than that.

Johanna Melcon
Johanna Melcon

Is this your stupid attempt at humor?!!?? If it is, then it's a big fat FAIL!!!! Seriously, grow the fuck up!!! Miami is built differently than the NE, comparing how a storm would affect us is not same to how it will affect the people up North.

vajda_josh
vajda_josh

That's great. Except:

- It's not just the wind. It's the ridiculous surge this brings with it and its 400+ miles of width.

- There's a giant cold front colliding with it, so when 50-60 million people lose power for days, they won't have heat. Don't think it'll be 50-60 million people? Cut that by 75% and it's still devastating.

- This storm will kill people and it will destroy homes and businesses people spend their whole lives to build. And you're taking it lightly and even mocking those who will suffer as a result of it. Completely classless.

anon
anon

Terrible journalism as usual, you guys are a bunch of insensitive haters! Have you seen the pictures of flooding through out? The severe damage that will happen to a lot of families homes and community is really not something to joke about. Do you realize that its not only a category 1 but that its high tide and a blizzard? People are scared and a lot of these areas are not built like South Florida to withstand this sort of weather. I hope you eat your words and perhaps next time be a bit more sensitive when it comes to some peoples lives at stake, but of course you won't your the shitty Miami New Times, the least trusted paper in Miami journalism.

Christie Ewell
Christie Ewell

Is it bad that part of me wants to tell some of these folks to grow a pair? Geez, at least the whole place isn't at sea level, like our entire state.

Gary McFly
Gary McFly

Katrina was a category 3 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson scale. Stay safe during and afterwards!

Ileana Monet
Ileana Monet

How selfish and inconsiderate of you to post this

Evan Berman
Evan Berman

the posters of this page are the biggest morons s usual...fitting of miami..This is 3 monsterous weather fronts colliding...The commenter "Miami New Times' should go back to community college

drakemallard
drakemallard topcommenter

Mitt Romney was asked, in the context of the Joplin disaster and FEMA's cash crunch, whether the agency should be shuttered so that states can individually take over responsibility for disaster response

 

 

 

 

paul Ryan,had hoped to scrap as a way to make his House GOP budget look smaller by about $10 billion a year. paul Ryan tried to cut a new disaster aid program championed by President Obama that "budgets help for victims of hurricanes, tornadoes and floods before they occur.

Danny Diaz
Danny Diaz

I worry when it's a Category 5, otherwise...meh. Sincerely, Hurricane Andrew Survivor

tenthredemption
tenthredemption

 @Jake "Geez, Jake got so worked up after his mother died in a freak flood caused by a silly little category 1 hurricane. Calm the fuck down, Jake!"See? Sounds very different with a few altered words. Your statement is insensitive...as are all the others telling the NE to "calm down" and "don't freak out." As a Floridian I'm sad such an article exists.My thoughts and prayers to those affected by Sandy. 

Caro10
Caro10

 @pcardone516 Hey thanks for not caring about MY home. Just because this insensitive Kyle wrote this BS doesn't mean everyone from Florida shares the sentiment. 

anon
anon

 @vajda_josh Thank you for reinforcing my point as well. The writer of this article is completely devoid of any empathy for people who will be affected.

HarryTheHandyman
HarryTheHandyman

 @anon Kyle is the epitome of shitty journalist.  How he's still employed at the MNT boggles the mind.

jgcamp99
jgcamp99

 @anonEvacuation orders ? Florida has them, bet the gulf Coast, Florida to Texas has them, why wouldn't Georgia thru Maine ?

Caro10
Caro10

 @anon  @vajda_josh Perhaps the comment should just say "this is great except.. it's not". 

anon
anon

 @jgcamp99  I mentioned nothing of evacuation orders, that is standard in every state. Either way an evacuation order won't stop people from being hurt or homes lost. The fact that this article is deliberately ridiculing the people who will be impacted for being worried or scared is really insensitive and wrong.

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