Miami Dolphins' Five Keys to Victory Versus Colts

Categories: Sports
3. Dolphins run game vs Colts run defense
The Dolphins started the year off wreaking ass-havoc on opposing run defenses but that has waned some in the last few games. If there was ever a time to do it, this game would be the one to get LaMontell Pussyhammer (aka Reggie Bush) and Vagina Feet (Daniel Thomas) going on the ground. The Colts have the 27th-ranked defense so there's space between the tackles to slither inside like only LaMontell knows how to do. Ooooooh, LaMontelllllllllll!

4. The Dolphins' shitstain pass defense vs a smart, athletic, not-Sanchez/Tebow QB
For all the Dolphins' awesomeness on run defense, it is well-known that we are Tijuana-hooker-on-mescalin-and-tequila bad on (the No. 27-ranked) pass defense. You can literally put anything you want in any of our orifices when it comes to the passing game. Therefore, playing a smart QB like Andrew Luck does not bode well for our pass defense, particularly when he's got weapons like Reggie Wayne. Sean Smith -- who's had uncanny luck lately by sometimes literally flailing his arms above his head and deflecting possible touchdown catches -- needs to be on his game or he will be J.B. Brown-sized toast against Luck, Wayne and company. It doesn't help that we've got a real dearth at the CB position with Richard Marshall still out.

5. Battle of the Young Upstart Teams
Let's be honest here: no one expected either of these teams to be 4-3 and in a position to either win their division or perhaps grab a Wild Card spot this season. However, somehow both teams are in the hunt so this is a crucial game as both look to defy the odds and the naysayers. Both teams are finding ways to win and beating favored opponents (Indy just beat Green Bay a few weeks back, for crissakes) so this will be a great matchup and test to see where the Dolphins are at. They'll need to play mistake-free football yet again this week if they hope to pull out this victory on the road.

Prediction: Colts 23 - Dolphins 17

The Dolphins play Sunday at 1 p.m. on CBS.

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