Miami Named City With Most Attractive Residents Because, Like, Duh

Categories: Survey Says
excusemybeauty.jpg
Excuse our beauty, rest of America, but for the first time since 2009, Miami has been named the city with the most attractive residents by Travel + Leisure's America's Favorite Cities survey. Which, whatever, no one had to tell us. We already know we're beautiful. Duh. We all wake up and look in the mirror every single day (usually for at least a good 15 minutes because it's so hard to look away).

Actually, out-of-towners ranked us first, right ahead of second-place San Diego and third-place San Juan. Interestingly, Miamians ranked themselves only the third most attractive city, but that's because we're humble -- beautiful on the inside and outside.

The most beautiful girl in the room always claims she's only, like, the third or fourth most beautiful.

"You have such great eyebrows. I wish I had some like those," we tell San Diego.

"Oh my God, how do you stay in shape? You look great," we say to San Juan.

But deep down we know we are owning the room, and everyone agrees.

Our hair is did. Our body is on point. Our makeup is minimal, because frankly we don't even need that much, unlike -- cough, cough -- Houston. Ours is the kind of beauty that starts wars. That brings mere mortals to tears. That strikes envy deep in the hearts of others.

Anchorage, Alaska, by the way, came in dead last, but that's OK. We're sure they have a great personality, and maybe if they just straightened their hair and got a new wardrobe they'd find a nice guy to settle down with one day.

Besides Anchorage, being beautiful doesn't solve all of our problems. Just most of them.

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10 comments
AndreasBosch
AndreasBosch

Now, the 'Excuse my beauty' picture is beyond stupid and tasteless.  I thought it was some spyware or something.  Funny but not so much.

jetsetter5955
jetsetter5955

All you Miami-ans taking miami and soflo for granted because youve lived here for 20 years and youre feeling bored, wake up you live in the area with the most beautiful people in the entire country and possibly, the entire world depending on your tastes, and no other area can beat the bright HD high contrast sunshine, the shopping, or the clubs that soflo has to offer. Also unless youre involved in some sort of road rage fight no one in miami will bother you, theyre not out to get you or gossip about anyone because they have so many better things to do-going to the beach, parks, rapids water park, restaurants, shopping, clubs, schools, parties, church, scuba diving, some soft surfing, cosmopolitan soirees, just hanging out with friends you name it you can find it in soflo.

You northerners reading this article... MIAMI > NORTH

jetsetter595
jetsetter595

It's true, been to half the states in the U.S., the rest of the states arent worth visiting, lived in sofla for over 10 years, and everytime you visit another place and get back to miami youre always glad to be surrounded by beautiful people. Hands down Miami is the city with the largest grouping of the best looking women in the entire U.S. (theres average looking people but people dont notice them in miami) but lately I think some of the quality has gone down in some of the women = too much makeup and crazy drawn-on electrical tape looking eyebrows trying to look like Kim K or Staci Cole (just a tip just because some makeup guru on youtube shows you how to do something doesnt mean it should be done) and the clothes get trashier and tackier every year, eventually everyone in Miami is just going to be half naked at all times, at school, work and during daily chores. Also Michael Kors is tacky af and its big in miami right now, the watches are so big and tasteless theyre only $200 so I guess its trendy for cheap. Ever since 2005 the styles in miami have gone way downhill, really youre going to go to Costco in yoga pants that make you look like youre about to star in a porno? Really?

That being said, if anyone from smalltown ohio or texas were to visit Miami/Sofla even today in 2012 with the tacky trends that are going on in soflo they would just die of green envy/jealousy from the swarms of beautiful women/men walking around or have a heart attack (or 2) Not even exaggerating that much, I've seen what northerners look like as a whole and its like they live in third world countries, and they look like it too.  

HarryTheHandyman
HarryTheHandyman

Isn't it funny how the more skilled writers that work for the MNT get to write REAL stories where you're stuck writing shit articles with bad humor?  I guess management knows your skill set sucks and gives you all the crap assignments.

David Minsky
David Minsky

The quality went down a bit since I left.

Kzm Ufc
Kzm Ufc

You would eat our faces while masturbating in our car while listeniong to loud music and wearing out hoodies if you weren't named....right?

AndreasBosch
AndreasBosch

@David Minsky You are so sexy you cant evey show off! How humble! That is Miami style! I feel you bud.

AndreasBosch
AndreasBosch

@Terry St Angelo That is because you were not considered in the beautiful group for starters.  Mean but I have to go there.  Its a joke. LOL!

AndreasBosch
AndreasBosch

@Kzm Ufc Get some meds, your brain is not working properly.  Who in the world would not consider Miami.  They are constantly at work to stay young and pretty, on the extreme at times.   lol

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